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Profile picture for Now&Me member @asahii

Gia! @asahii

i know i need help but i don’t know how to ask for it. nor do i have anyone to ask, irl or here (either offline or i dont know whether anyone can help because i seem to have unreasonable requirements in my head).
one part of my brain knows that no one is coming for us and that we have to fend for ourselves, but the other part screams louder for someone.
i know i have my duties to fulfil and that i cant let my emotions defeat me, so when I’m down, I can neither fully feel down for longer than a minute nor come back to doing my duties, stuck in awkward middle position.
my absence won’t be noticed. no one needs me, either as a friend, or as an economic asset.
when i see people having fun, i’m reminded of the days i was stuck in my room, studying alone in a corner, when i should have been making friends, but that’s the curse of being stuck in a fuck!in competitive place. now i neither have good grades nor friends, lose-lose.
i’ve no one to call a true friend, yet i don’t know how to make one despite the longing for one. i have to walk with my hoodie on, with my head down to avoid seeing people.
to avoid all this from hitting me, i listen to some serious music which pumps me up for the time being but i come back to square one.
all chaotically written i know, but i don’t know what to do.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @analyst_
3 replies
This thought has been deleted by the thought author
This thought has been deleted by the thought author
Profile picture for Now&Me member @analyst_

🍻 @analyst_

It seems like you’re going through a lot and feeling quite isolated. It’s completely normal to struggle with reaching out for help, especially when it feels like there’s nobody around who gets what you’re going through. Dealing with conflicting thoughts about self-reliance versus the need for support is tough.

Feeling like your presence doesn’t matter and that nobody needs you can be incredibly isolating. However, it’s important to recognize that your worth isn’t defined by external validation or recognition. Your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to reach out for support, even if it feels overwhelming.

It sounds like you’re stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts and emotions, which can be really tough to break. While music might provide temporary relief, addressing the root issues is important. Seeking support from someone you trust or exploring online resources for coping strategies could be helpful.

Making friends can be challenging, especially in competitive environments, but it’s not impossible. Building connections takes time and effort, and it’s okay to start small. Consider exploring hobbies or interests that you enjoy, as this can be a great way to meet like-minded people.

Remember, you’re not alone in feeling this way, and there are people who will care about you once you reach them. It takes courage to reach out for help, but taking that step can lead to positive changes in your life. If you’re unsure where to start, consider exploring online communities or support groups where you can connect with others who may be going through similar experiences. You deserve to feel heard, understood, and supported.

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