I knew from the beginning, that I found you to lose you, and loved you to miss you. we met by coincidence...💝

3am Thoughts

Day before yesterday was a hell day for me i almost lost my best friend because of a guy that i never even met i don't know whats wrong with him and  me 

I feel lonely all of sudden. I have 2 best friends but feel like they always suppress me.  Nothing seems legit nowadays. Everyone looks fake. I don't have very good relations with my parents even they don't try to talk to me. I cry almost every day all alone during nights. 

Feeling a little down
Just venting a lot about my feelings…and feel relieved…but coming down from anxiety is where I am at.
My low self esteem started in hs…being quiet a lot of guys found it easy to prey on…i didn’t let them…Hs is so critical. Until one guy who claimed he loved me had me on and off in hs and constantly being replaced by other girls was hurtful…til this day everyone says im pretty but don’t believe it.

Self Esteem

Posting this quote bc i relate to her.

Other times, I look at my scars and see something else: a girl who was trying to cope with something horrible that she should never have had to live through at all. My scars show pain and suffering, but they also show my will to survive. They're part of my history that'll always be there.

~ Cheryl Rainfield

Self Harm

I am so frustrated. My parents keep fighting all the time. My dad keeps shouting on top of his lungs and expects us to listen. It is so annoying. My siblings are out for work so I have to live with them all the time. And it is fking up my mental health. Idk what to do. He doesn’t care to listen. He is so easily annoyed he is short tempered and I know he is actually done with my mother because she doesn’t care. She doesn’t take responsibility. She keeps on roaming outside. We have to order food and what not. I can understand their perspectives but they should understand mine too. I just want to run away. And I don’t want you all to suggest that I should find a job and move out. I wish I could. And they always complain about each other all the time. I am so done. I wish I could end this someway. 

Frustration

Please teach me how to say "no" nicely.. I really ran out of idea now... 

Social Anxiety

Pov: we fight a lot because he works night shifts n doesn't spend time with me when he's free.. we haven't met in over a month because he is busy 
Lately he's hiding his snaps from me.. like he doesn't send them to me but I see his snapscore go up every day.. he can't stay up 30 mins for me but he went on a small hike with his friends today right after work early in the morning.. I know he loves me.. but I don't like what he's doing.. it's kinda concerning.. what do I do?

Love

Sometimes I wonder how my heart is still working after suffering all of this. You are really strong bro and I am really proud of you. I know life was so unfair with you but it is how it is. Hum jeena to nhi chhod sakte na. I love you.. ( to myself )  Trust me I do.  Logo ko karne do judge, wo tumhe kamzor aur Chhota dikhana kabhi band nhi karenge.. Bevkuf hai saare... Jo life k real meaning ko nhi samjh paaye.  Na insaniyat samjh paye. Bas dikhawa karne ko life ka intention bna liya hai. Mujhe to taras Ata hai un logo par jo emotions nhi samjhte. Dimag jyada chalate hai. Anyways.. tum God ki favourite ho.. itna mujhe pta hai. Just smile and be happy for yourself. I love u so much.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts