Thought

@jumpy

I just want to get this off my chest. I am bi and I am male. I can’t stop thinking about my failures. Every time I try to think of something else it always goes back to my failures. Every time I try to speech up or try to speech nothing comes out and I don’t try. It feels like I have no one to go and feels like my fault. In the past for I lied to almost everyone I know out of fear of disappoint meant. People have told me your the best, smart, great, and high potential. Even If I am do good I can see the disappoint in people eyes. When I be human and make a mistake people are looked at me with disappointment. I’m an asshole and liar and don’t know why. I did good for a year, but turning into someone I hate. I don’t have the will to do anything. I’m only 12. I don’t know to do with my life. Even if I go to my parent I still be a disappoint even if they don’t say it. What do I even do. I have don’t know who i am. I’m scared that can’t be a good person.

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2 replies
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Anonymous

Hi @jumpy 12 year old!

I can understand how you must be feeling, for at one point I too felt the pressure of always excelling without a fault.
But you must know, and accept, that you are a child, and are learning to grow up into a good and responsible adult. So, let mistakes happen, just think about what you learnt from them. Don’t be hard on yourself. You allow you to make mistakes. And everyone will learn from that example.

You are not a disappointment, at that age, or rather at any age, we always keep guilting ourselves into believing that we could’ve been better, and that we’re not good enough or that we’re disappointing the people around us. That is not the case. Everyone is fighting their internal battles. At 12, you’re not supposed to know what to do with your life. All you have to do is take each day as it comes and be present in the moment. Don’t think about the past or the future. Just try to enjoy yourself in the moment. And don’t blame yourself for everything. Go easy on yourself. You know that if you have a conscience, it means you care and that you are a good person. And that is the only thing that matters <3

@jumpy

Thank you.

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