Relationships

I get so taken aback when strangers ask or comment about something that they see in me on a deep psychological level. Like that shit scares me so much, to have people see through you. I bet every introvert goes through similar experiences but those 1 or 2 times when somebodys observations are spot on are just so frightening.

Mental Health

This man gives all the comebacks on point, which we think we should  hv said in an argument 

3am Thoughts

Need some one to weekend in bangalore. Just chill at a cafe. Read a book or two. Have a great time 

Happy

There are mornings when you wake up completely numb. So drained out of life and energy you can’t stand on your own two feet. So you decide to lie down back. And think...
Think what kept you up the whole night and the last one and the previous one. The cries of pain and sorrow from the last night still ringing fresh in your ears. Your throat runs dry for a second. You turn around to look for water and find it almost empty. And you relax again. You don’t try anymore. 
But the thoughts are coming back again. The demons, who wreck your insides and outsides. 
You are still lying. Looking at the ceiling. The plain white doesn’t seem so white anymore. You can see faces and memories running through them like a movie screen. You try and shut your eyes.
That makes matters worse. The jittering is starting again. The uncontrollable shaking of the feet. No. This will not turn out good. So you open your eyes. And silence. You are unable to hear anything for a moment.
You lie still. And then burst out crying again. Muffling your screams in the duvet. That sickening feeling. The ticking in the brain. The blood rushing. And then you stop again.
Still as a rock. Feeling heavy. Inside and out.

And then you realise that maybe this is how it will be. And you accept it. Or try to make yourself believe in it. The cruelty of time had hit you long back. But you stood up once. Twice. Thrice and again.
Yet something just left you last night. Some part of you went missing. And you don’t have the strength to look for it again. 
It’s very stubborn. It will leave. Sooner or later.
So you set it FREE. 
Oh there’s tears running down the corner of your eyes to the sides of your head and face all the way in your ears. On a regular day, you would wipe them because they tickle. But today you don’t. Because you want to feel. Feel something... anything other than pain. Anything other than the emptiness of the stomach. 
You are skipping all the meals...your friends point out. And you just laugh it out saying you are on a diet. Or maybe you’ll eat later. 
But you know you won’t. You can’t. The nausea is always there as your shadow.

You think again. The thoughts drifting and each thought , each memory is tearing you apart.

This is today morning and you is ‘me’.
And it’s too late.


Anxiety

Please do not take the photos of moon

Were you born in October or November ?

Which one ?

I told my husband about my ex just after we started speaking around engagement before marriage. It's been 7 years and still he, almost every month taunts about that whenever we fight. I feel more cheated now than ever. Is this the price of telling truth ? It's almost unbearable 😐

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts