I just hate this fucking life......from 3 years only problem.......wtf i am bored from this life......... waiting for takeoff

Depression

I feel this momentary sadness can move into depression  
If I don't  get of this college 
But if I get out what  do the future  holds me? 
And it's  easier  for others to say to leave it , but that too is difficult  when people have a war for employment 
I feel more and more retarded  when I am in this place more pressure  , pain and insult . Persistant  feeling  of guilt  in all I dooo
Is this only me..?
I really need a hug

Sitting idly I thought the most terrifying thing it’s so weird that each and everyone of us is capable of so much violence like I could totally be violent but choose not to. 

3am Thoughts

Anyone here works as a freelancer. I want to start out in freelancing but didn't get any response and don't know what to do 

Career

Hey, yesterday it was  more than three days I didn't call her but I just can't stop myself and I call her and we talked more then 2 hrs and that call was last long till  5 a.m  in the morning.  I just told her everything that what I was over thinking about her   even I told her that you are my villain in my mind . and she was little bit upset that she don't even know what the f*** is happening and I make her villain in my story. but yesterday few things I came to know   that I  clearly tell her that in my life  you are important to me. But I know that i m not that much important to you. but later I ask her tell me straight yes or no that am I imp to yoy?  and she told me yes . That I m not that much imp to her and  that  hurt me little. I was  dependent on her  like have expection from her.  but yesterday we both was discussing about our ex and even she got cheated in her past. But yesterday in middle of conversation she was ready to msg him (her ex). And I was shocked. Then realized it it will take time and things will be OK.but apart from this how should I stop giving her importance?

I'm in too much pain, he was my first love and he'd been cheating on me now he's gone and he couldn't even do it face to face he did it over text, I was in love with him and I still am he made me feel like a whole new level of love when I was with him 

Breakup

I told my Friends to Embrace their mistakes.


Damn I am crushed by their tight Hugs


😭😭😭😭😭

Today I had mix feelings  I was happy as well as sad at time. I exactly  don't know why I had both feelings at the same time, in fact today nothing happened that made me happy or sad. But when I think about where I'm now I feel  I'm lucky, but at the same time happiness  inside me breaks  into pieces of sadness. More I try to stay positive something happens which change my mood. It becomes  very difficult  to define how I feel, most of the times no ones understand. It becomes very difficult  to tell my close ones that how I feel. I can also understand  it sounds weird  that a moment  you feel happy  and suddenly  mood changes. So I chose  not to talk  with them when I am sad at least  they don't deserve  my anger when they try to talk to me. I have no idea  whether my close ones know about my mood swings. But yes I had told them  that I feel like this sometimes. I think  they don't  remember  what I told them. Anyways, I felt better now after pour some of my heart over here. 

Overthinking

Should I start only drinking water for a month? Does anyone think it’s possible and fine to do? 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts