I just don’t want to live anymore yh i want to very much but I’m fed up with this
I come from an average middle class family and they provide me with everything except freedom like I’m eo grateful to them but I’m like a slave i have never asked them for anything but i have many dreams like anyothers like i gotta buy this that but yh i wanted to get all that from my earnings.
Recently i got placed aftera lot of sleepless nights. Many of my classmates also got placed. And they living their life and their parents are all so Happy for them and they are providing for them atleast for a short period before they join for a new job and uk to enjoy the last few days at college they plan trips buys new expensive phones dresses everything and i got no complaints but there’s this last college fest of ours and i really wanted to like smoothen my hair because my hair is a mess i mean like i have no confidence and half of it is due to my hair uk like i don’t like the way i look I’m not saying i hate myself but it just affect my confidence. I don’t even have a kajal at home i have never used anything like lipstick or makeup or anything but i love to wear them. Because my mom never buys me these even when I’m looking in the mirror she says “to show whom that u are grooming urself for study instead” so im always the same everywhere. Since i got placed i had this small wish to smoothen my hair for the fest and i aked my mom and she just torn me down she said so many things that I’m feeling like i need to die . It’s not new to me she is always like that but i thought they would be atleast a bit happy that i got a job but no . When i said if i get my salary i will definitely colour my hair too and then she was like then just go and be a prostitute too that would be easy for u then …and i lost it when she said all these i can’t even be happy any day …i really want to provide everything for them take care but my mom is just . Idk idk what to say whom to say these it’s so difficult to live like this it’s becoming harder each day
I am so sorry to hear that , it must be so hard , i can’t even understand how hard it must be for you , you didn’t do anything wrong , ik some of suffering from touch household we are incorporated that we must take of your parents & we should , we have every right to stand up against anything or anyone , if there are doing , …i believe our parents grow & learn as we grow too, so talk to them clearly if they get upset it’s alright …but don’t think of anything negative 🙏, once you go in that trap you will keep sinking
Toxic household **
hey please dont be immature. i know how it feels when your own family is the reason of everything you are facing but please try to ignore them as much as you can. i know that will be like impossible for u rn but trust me you can do it. just try to be focus on urself. getup and do whatever you want whatever you like without thinking what will happen after. you gotta do it urself. and if u need any help u can talk to me.