Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I just broke up with my narcissistic boyfriend after 4 years of relationship. He gave up on me for areanged marriage without asking his parents about me. I’m having self doubts n low self-respect n esteem. Though it was a toxic n sometimes abusive relation, it took alot of my efforts n e energy n we had good times n memories together, I still feel like waiting for him to come back to me.