I imagined relationships that I have now are like strings that I’m trying to hold. family and love. Both are different, but matter to me. As both sides demand things that triggered me, somehow I feel like I’m gonna lose one of the strings and the other one is strangling me. Being called “cheap”, make me obey just to please them and to make sure they don’t call me that again, but the other side said that “you are losing yourself”, “You don’t care anymore about us anymore”. It just hurt me so much because it is true, I’m cruel, but what can I do?? nothing. This madness brings nothing solution, I believe time would heal, but the pain getting stronger, the smile, my smile is fake, the thought I’d have, I kept it silent, how pity, but nothing I can do. I let the strings hurt me. How selfish I am for doing that to myself, future me, I’m so sorry.
Dear those who might read this, Don’t be like me, do what you like, be happy ok. :)
I guess you had a hard time connectting with your parents emotionally while you grow up or they must be toxic I’m sorry but idk I’m just assuming, you have to let go one of the strings I won’t lie, you have to heal your inner child wounds, until the you’ll keep repeating the same pattern trust me I’ve been here
thank you, I’ve been thinking the same as you, but I am afraid to lose people I love, they are my source of energy, to keep me stronger each day, to be patient, to keep me calm when I lost my temper,… I just let the time flow, and I always said this to myself, “If we are destined to be together, we will be”. I believe if there’s a will, there’s a way, patience is the key. hm. n its hard, but don’t lose faith. hm
Thank you again I appreciate your advised soo muchh :)
