I have woken up to soo much anxiety. My chest hurts soo bad. My mind can't just seem to shut off. All I need is a person to pick me up hold my hand and guide me through this darkness.

Anxiety

My sister and I had a fight with my mom this morning and it was terrible. They both drank some poisonous solutions and puked all over. It was such a mess. Idk why I’m saying this. I feel like shit. It wasn’t even a big deal, what we fought over. 

I lost my mother a month back and ever since I have lost interest in anything. I cry but it does no good. I feel a pain in my heart and dont know what to do. Trying to be strong for my father n brother though. But every night I think about her and wonder why she left us so early. I am unable to imagine my life without her. I am suffocating from within but I keep a comforting front entire day. I have a job but lost my interest. Have a loving husband but I don’t like to speak to him either. I think of dieing sometimes but then neither I have courage nor I can give more pain to father & husband. Found this website today so thought of giving it a try. Not sure if anyone would read or advise.

Depression

Hi...
I feel lost and drained all the time.
It feels really alone and i feel that i haven't made any friends in 25 years of my life.
I feel like there's something wrong with me.
I keep trying but they all eventually drift away.
I suffer mentally alot.
And there's no one out there who understands what I go through. Not even family.
I was friends with a boy for almost 8 years.
It was easy even for him to drift away and cut contacts from me.
Most of the times I feel I am the problem but i don't want to focus on that because I am already suffering a lot mentally.

Once, 5-6 years ago i even tried commiting suicide for a very menial reason which triggered everything.
Is it just me?!!

In all my 17 years, I have just recently found this site, and I need to get all of my feelings out somewhere, as I'm sure you all are thinking as well or you probably wouldn't be here. I do have depression, but I don't have the type of background that this would be expected of. I've never endured traumatic scenarios, I haven't lost close loved ones, and I have a good support system. There is no reason for me to be like this, but that doesn't stop me from the feeling of persistent numbness that occurs at random times. I can be doing something as simple as making a meal or walking down a hallway in school and it will hit me like a ton of bricks. It usually lasts a while as well - the feeling of nothing. It's hard to understand what that is like unless you experience it yourself, so I thought this would be a good platform to discuss it. I've been unhappy with who I am. There is an ideal version of me out there that I just keep trying to strive for and it's seemingly more distant the more I try to get there. I have wanted to die. I think to myself "what is the point of living if this is what it feels like?". I've gone as far as attempting it. I have wanted so badly to just give it all up.
However, there is a feeling that keeps showing up right when I need it to. It is indescribable, there is no word for it that seems to fit, but I will try my best to explain. It's like when you're in a car, by yourself or with your favorite people, in the middle of the night driving through a city that is busy and chaotic during the day, but tranquil and abandoned at night. You are listening to music that actually makes you feel something, and you are able to forget about all that worries you and you can live simply in that moment. It seems to provoke a feeling of longing for all that was and all that has yet to be, but in a good way. You stop caring about all that has wronged you in the past, and you live for all the good that has been right infront of you the entire time. 
And if for nothing else, staying alive for this feeling alone is worth it, I can promise you that. 
If any of you even understand what I am talking about please respond and tell me about what provokes this feeling within you!
 

Mental Health

I feel so alone and stuck. No one cares about me. People always put me last. People are always okay with leaving me. I literally have no one. 

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