Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I have social anxiety.When I go out I feel weird and embarrassed.I don’t speak to people a lot.But when I speak,only nonsense oxmes out of my mouth.And I realise that after sometime.I start overthinking and finally I feel that I’m an idiot.Sometiems I feel anxious too.
I have toxic relatives because of which I avoided all my family functions for 1 long year.I visited them recently and two days after which I had a breakdown…it was really bad.It has been very traumatic these days.Things aren’t fine from a long. All these I thought I’m very strong and can handle everything…but recently I realised that I’ve been escaping from the situation all the time and also that I’m weak…very weak and people can manipulate me so easily.i really don’t know what I should do.Everytime I feel stronger and happy…I will be hit by something that makes me realise that I weaker…weak like hell…