I have seen my grandmothers obeying to everything my grandfathers say. They have never seen their wives as equals which I see has affected every aspect of their lives. They have overworked and spoiled their health. They have never received respect from their relatives seeing their husbands never respected them. It is very unfair on their part. 

Relationships

Having abusive parents, you learn to only care about things in secret. Liking things openly becomes unsafe, because your parents notice, and it's the first thing they'll take away from you the second they need to blackmail you. After a while it only feels safe to not care about anything, to not want anything, and to not be attracted to anything, because then it can't be used against you, they can't use it against you. You have to be apathetic if you don't want to be openly vulnerable to abuse. Eventually you learn to hide everything from everyone. Even your friends don't find out about it. Every pleasure feels like guilty pleasure, like you'll pay for it later. Your entire life becomes a secret that feels too dangerous to anyone. 

Hey guys...Christmas is coming. Do you guys have any favorite movie suggestions for this Christmas 🤶. Please list them in the comments. Animated movies are more than welcome. 😍 ♥ 
My favorite is Disney's A Christmas Carol

Happy

How to move on? How can I forget the people that I loved once?

If  I could turn back time, I wouldnt. 

There are events , conversations, 

confrontations, days and months that I wish would disappear from memory.


But to rewrite that history , I couldnt.

I wouldnt be the me who is here today; the me who is better everyday, some days worse.


Two steps forward and One step backward, but never gone ,

Never gone,

Never gone ! 



3am Thoughts

So what are your plans at night?😉

Growing Up

Hi this is kinda new to me and feels a lil weird to share but i genuinely have no one else to share it w last year was very hard on me i fought and lost my bestfriend of many years and it changed my life completely and i saw that time which people were actually my friends and who were just w me because of her it's been awhile now she's changed but i still see her all the time because it's our last school year so we're friends when i had a fall out w her i got really close to a friend in our friend group who i didn't know how good friends we would be but we had a minor fight and the first person she went to was my ex bff she went and bitched abt me to the friend group and i saw her and she went to a cafe specifically to talk shit abt me w my ex bff and came back w and told me that I'm obnoxious and a few others things and i was genuinely hurt that she has such a bad image abt me but i thought abt it and the next day i told her yes a little of this i agree w u and i will improve as a person because I've already delt w one person leaving me i didn't want another to but now i realised that she's not really there for me and she only became friends w me becuz she pities me and she always makes me feel insignificant when she's w her bff ik I'm probably the problem but i always might be like tough or sm but I genuinely care abt people i just realised that I'm no one's first choice or that anyone would stand up for me i just needed to rant because I'm upset.

Sometimes loneliness kill you from inside


Acquaintance

I’ve been struggling a lot recently. I had a dog whom I lost recently. My boyfriend’s dealing with his own things and is mostly busy with his friends and family. And, my family relationships aren’t too well. 

I feel very lonely, I’m into therapy, got diagnosed with a disorder. My boyfriend knows and he didn’t say anything :,) just ignored the conversation while I told him about my diagnosis. He’s been distant and away too. 

I just wish I feel happy again. Just want to feel loved. I wish to feel like i matter. 
Recently, I’ve been. Feeling like an inferior. 
Does it even get better? :,)

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts