I have ptsd from being molested as a child, neglected, abandoned, physically abused, having an abortion, and self abandoning and living a high risk life style.
I don’t know what it’s like to feel safe.
I don’t know what it’s like to not wake up feeling hyper alert like I never slept.
I don’t know how to relax and enjoy anything.
It’s hard for me to have small fun conversations when all I have running through my head is “what threat is coming now”.
When my episodes calm down, and I start to feel okay, almost the feeling of safe and relaxed, i shield up and no one is allowed in.
My inner voice is so hateful towards