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Bipolar DisorderThought

@redstars

I have not been diagnosed but I feel I have bipolar disorder.
If I do it is very little but that’s not what this is about.
I’ll give you a few character profiles:
H: “Best-friend”, the one I suspect also has bipolar disorder. Drifting apart for a while. Toxic (used to be friendly and all good). Used to be a supporter/empathetic friend.
R: The one I was getting closer to. I’m ‘stealing her online friends’. Swears a lot (except in front of her parents). Very loud (thus making her a little annoying at times). A little toxic.
M: ‘Supporter’. She supports her friends and keeps secrets (which i’m thankful for), yet it makes it so hard to connect with the other 2. Pure soul and quiet. Usually the person the others go to for a secret. I don’t talk to her much though.

I feel my friend has it too (bipolar I mean). My best friend who I wrote about yesterday (H) always changes her attitudes at the slightest pull (or sometimes she’s unaffected). I feel I can’t joke around her anymore or she’ll get offended, but H jokes and makes fun (out of love she says (Well, to me anyway)) of me and my other friends.

Sometimes H can be the greatest friend in the world (not so much anymore) but now she usually has tendencies to hurt others (or be meaner to) that wronged her (even a little bit). I get that, I have it too (we are VERY similar) but I know how to control myself. We used to call each other ‘hermana’ (sister in spanish). We were very close.

R & M support her, and I of course did too. Until it was too much for me. Once I wanted to do something and she didn’t, but if I did the thing she would be alone. I was annoyed, because by the second she was slowly closing me off (by getting more annoyed and she had that ‘whatever-do-what-you-want’ kinda voice). So, I just left to do it. I wasn’t going to deal with her then, I was sick (like, actually sick).

I don’t know what to do with her, i’m thinking of leaving my friend group and going to my long-time best friend’s group because, well, I’ve lost all trust in all of them.

I should also add i’m not good with words, i’m not very empathetic and I feel I can’t help her, but at the same time I can relate with her (because we are both going through very similar things). She has an attitude that she doesn’t need help and I can’t try unless she opens up. Then again, I can only listen, i’m not good with words.

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2 replies
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Anonymous

Right now everyone is a bit anxious and weird so it is normal…being actually diagnosed as bipolar is something extremely serious and entails more than what you are describing.

@redstars

Thank you, I will keep that in mind.

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