I have never really expressed to anyone about my family issues, just 2-3 very close friends of mine know the reality. I was never truly very open about my family members since I had this notion in my head that I would be uncool because of them. But as I grew up I realised that all those years spent in hiding the true situation of my family members from others only made my connection with them weaker. Today, watching the strongest women in my life after my mom, my bua (Aunt) struggling to keep herself upright on her feet hurts me so much that I feel guilty, for not tending to her earlier.
My bua never had any kids of her own, she was separated only months after into her marriage as she discovered that the man she married already had a wife and two kids and in the time she was married to him she was abused emotionally. Since the time my sister and I were born, there hasn’t gone a day when she wouldn’t think of us as her own kids. She is a second mother to us. But we got busy in our adult life and stopped tending to her until we realised that people who have families of their own are privileged because at the end of the day she is alone. We feel guilty. She recently got a knee surgery and was diagnosed with Dementia and seeing her in misery breaks my heart. She has seen so much and at such a troublesome time as well she only thinks about others. She is my hero!
We won’t be able to take away her pain but we will make the rest of her life beautiful together. Because there’s no greater power than love. Don’t take anyone for granted for when they will go, you’ll only have memories of them and you’d die of guilty for not spending more time with them. Spend time wisely.
Drishti Gupta @drishtigupt...
Thank you so much for putting this out here. This was much needed to hear. Thank you so much.
I think all of us make mistakes in our life and if we take appropriate steps to rectify them once we recognize them, there’s nothing better that we can do honestly. I know how you must feel for not giving your bua time earlier but as long as you’ve realised that and are taking steps to be there with her now, is very very important.
I feel the same guilt for not spending enough time with my nani before she passed away! I wish I had given her more of my time and love while she was here.
youve just given the best advice to your story and to others to learn from.