I have been meeting many men for several years now for an arranged marriage and did not get interested in most of them. Have had very bad experience with the men themselves or their families.
So, instead, there is this friend that I really like from a long time and I decided to ask him if he’s interested. He’s got some family things to be resolved after which he will consider marriage. So he told me to keep looking for now and when the family issue is resolved, he’ll talk to me if I still haven’t found someone. Is this a subtle rejection or can I take it for what it is?
It depends on your friend I guess. If he’s been subtle like this before then maybe? But if he’s just a typical guy he’s not implying anything. Maybe just ask him? IDK sorry!!
I also know a bit about how that might feel because I too have been there. There is nothing to be ashamed of, it affects a lot of us.
Thanks for sharing this here and this is definitely an issue we need more people to talk about. Arranged Marriages in this day & age is NOT what it used to be as it was for the previous generation(s). The dynamics has completely changed.
Normally if a guy is genuinely interested, he wouldn’t be so callous to say to keep looking and only later once he’s set from his side will he talk to you and that too if you haven’t found someone. Respect is a two-way street and he must earn yours as well. He is neither above or beneath you but he must also learn to be respectful of your feelings as well especially since he’s a long time friend and may know about your circumstances.
At this juncture, please take care of your mental health. He is sitting in between ghosting/gaslighting you - both of which are harmful especially when done to someone. It’s always a good idea to expand your circle of friends and pace yourself with this particular friend of yours.
Please feel free to vent here whenever you feel like. We’re here to support you. Hope this helps.
This isn’t exactly upsetting me. Just having trouble deciding which of the two it is