Thought

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Anonymous

I have been in a toxic relationship for two years now, this guy was the first guy I love deeply and actually cared about, he has hurt me in everyway possible, disrespected me and lowered my self esteem, judged me, ditched me so many times and pushed me everytime I tried to love him, triggered my mental issues, and changed me to the worse, he has done to me wrong more than good, yet I still only see the good in him and give him chances, he keeps coming back… and now he’s gone, he has disappeared, after he took everything from me… I’m no longer who I used to be, and I don’t know if I could ever love again the same way.
and I don’t know if my perception of love is so distorted that I can’t even see it, I have ignored my friends and my family’s advice on that he isn’t the one for me , yet I don’t listen snd I keep forgiving him like nothing happened.

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3 replies
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Anonymous

Hey,This hit very close to home. I too have been in a toxic relationship where I seemed to be blinded by what is right for me, what my friends and family are saying. So, don’t blame yourself, it’s actually like a huge cloud in front of one’s eyes that seems to alter our judgement. 
 
I don’t want to sound negative, but my relationship reached a point where he cheated on me and that is when I left him. Which is honestly insane because there were so many other signals telling me things are not okay, but I had to wait up until the point he fucked up, for me to find the strength to leave him…
 
Just remember, that you are letting go of a lot of blessings and good people who have a chance of walking into your life but cannot because you have not made that space. That is my only regret. Of putting myself through misery, for God knows what, my family worrying over me, and just using my energies towards something negative that was tearing me down instead of something that could have built me and uplifted me, and by that, I mean anything and everything that was not this boy. I literally could have just been taking myself to new places, coffee dates and just spent that time to know me and develop my character. That happened regardless, but it was just not worth it to go through so much difficulty and pain for another person, when it could have been easily avoided and when that would have been the right thing to do.
 
I know it sounds easier than it is. And I hope you find the strength in you to leave him because he is upto no good, someone you love isn’t supposed to make you feel this way. Take care xx

Deepanshi @deepanshigupta0

Hello! I know it sounds easier than it is. And I hope you find the strength in you to leave him because he is upto no good, someone you love isn’t supposed to make you feel this way. Take care .

Khushboo @khushboo

Hello, i just want to tell you that please don’t lose yourself for some other person. Yeah i know you are really heart broken but try to heal the pain as soon as possible. Try to move on and work towards your goals. Ignore the thought of that person as they don’t deserve you. Stay happy in life. All the best.

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