I have been in a relationship twice earlier. Both of them broke my trust. It was really difficult for me to trust somebody again. During my lat relationship, when it almost ended, I came to know that one of the closest man in my life also did something similar (he is family member). This just broke my heart, I had no hope for love, commitment and trust into somebody, especially men! Since then I am suffering from depression and anxiety issues. It took me almost 2 years to realise and process what all is happening with me, I am now much aware about these conditions and can help myself at times.
But while I was into all this, I met a guy at a friend’s wedding. I had seen him earlier in the same common friend’s stories too. So I was trying to see whether he is the same guy or not. Then after the wedding he sent me a friend request, we chatted for almost whole night, 5-6 hours at a stretch. Exchanged numbers and talked for almost 2-3 hours. We instantly vibed! I dont know why but I had an amazing feeling and he felt the same. We met the day after, spent almost 5 hours together and felt amazing!! We chatted for almost 2-3 hours the same night. We met again on the other day, spent 3-4 hours again! The connection was instant and I was already in love with him. But he wasn’t sure about it because it was just 3-4 days and he felt like I am getting serious for him and he isn’t. He told me someone left him after being together for 6 years, it was long distance and did not work. So he was afraid as might have to move out cause of his career choices. That was the reason within a week he said I don’t think I am ready for any sort of relationship right now. Thats it! It was a long text and everything was over. Did not even felt the need of meeting and talking things out. I felt devastated and it was so disheartening because the way we had a time together was totally different then what we were going through that time. I felt bad about the fact didn’t he feel the need of meeting and talking things out and giving a closure so that we both can move on in our lives, it might have been easier than what I am feeling right now!
Now I am very much afraid to even like someone. He being so mature and understanding person, can do this then how do I trust people now. Whatever I felt with him, was something I use to fantasise about, I never thought I would meet somebody who would be that much compatible to me. But then destiny wanted something else, altogether. Everything was finished on a message note!