I have been feeling that I have to make my friend laugh or she will get bored of me. She has had some other friends but I remember one of those friends feeling depressed one day so she got mad at him and isn’t his friend anymore. He was a class clown but he was depressed because he had a crush on her but she always made fun of it and used him for laughs. I feel this may happen to me. I was her first friend when we were in 4th grade and she was my first friend, because we both moved to that school days apart from each other. We fight a lot and if I don’t make jokes she always has a “resting bitch look” on her face so everyone in school didn’t really like her. I wasn’t the best of the best either. I had been fat and ugly, while she was skinny and pretty. I always caught her lying about stuff but never really told her that I knew. She lately lies that she has a cousin that’s a model and who’s mom beats him so now he hates girls and is gay. Thought I have found proof of this to be untrue, she talks about him still. She lied to our teachers in the past, skipped lessons in the bathroom and has hung out in school with some of the bad kids. Though she never got in trouble, I feel that this is bad for her. She always says life at home is hard and that’s she is depressed. This I haven’t proven false but I hope it is. When I am not telling her jokes or being stupid she just looks so bored with her life and sits there in silence. I, too, have trouble at home but it is hard to talk to her about it because she is not serious when it comes to me. In my childhood my house was always known as the loud house on my street because my neighbors always would hear lots of screaming. It’s like I’m writing almost a life story gosh. But I just want to make my friend happy and hope she cares more for herself. She is somethings caring for others. Though it’s never me but that’s not what matters. She often talked about how one of the friends(a bad kid) had it hard at home and she thought that If that kid didn’t come to school she would suspect her of killing herself. Thought I don’t really believe this because that kid just always ends up coming to school, getting in trouble, and making odd jokes. That kid also had history with me also. Once, she had gotten ahold of my smartphone when we had a volleyball game going on in between classes and she has messaged my mother things like “show me your p***y daddy.” My mother did not tell me all that the kid had sent but my mother did come to the school and take my phone for a month. Even though I wasn’t responsible and she knew that. Well, my friend still hind out with that kid even after that. Though the kid never got punished. I still wish I could be a better friend though. FML
I hope your sanity and wellness, you trust your intuition to know and do better. It seems like you are in a vulnerable state and your friend keeps taking advantage of your vulnerability to keep you around in exchange for scraps of validation. I sincerely hope you understand that your lack of boundaries is giving away the one thing that is rightfully yours, your voice. Use it. Do not let fear of not pleasing others keep you in this stagnant position. I hope this helps a smidge.
No one 111 @jarul
You know what boo? ditch your friends. You’ll be fine trust me. Your grades will get better too
Get new friends
Friends are mostly snakes.
First of all, it takes a lot of courage to be able to share something so personal, so thank you for trusting us with this.
I think its important to remember that all relationships work two ways- the second it becomes a constant one-sided rant session, it is toxic. I think you are an incredibly strong person to be there for your friend through her tough times, and it takes an insanely tough person to be there for someone in spite of your own tough times. You are extremely strong.
Having said that, you should be your first priority, and if any person overtakes you in your own life, at any point in time, you need to work on being your own number #1. I know that it’s easier said than done, and you are really afraid of losing someone you love so much, despite the way she treats you. You have recognized that what she is doing to you is NOT OK, and that’s the first step to you prioritizing yourself. Stay strong headed and it will only get better from here. Just as long as you remember to put yourself first.
If you do not want to lose her, you should sit her down and have a heart to heart with her. Tell her that you want to be there for her, and you want her to be there for you too. Tell her you want to have an open, honest, reciprocal friendship with her, and tell her that that just as she needs you, you need her to show up for you too.
If your friend continues to behave bored and uninterested in your life, you can do a lot better. I promise you that. You may not believe me today, but eventually, you will come to realize that.
You are an incredible friend and don’t let anyone make you feel like you are not.
YOUR Mental Health First.
Stay Kind. Stay Strong. You are enough.💖