I have become toxic over time. Still can't make myself believe that once I was a happy & lovely kid. Maturity stole my happiness and brought infinite pain to me. It was my destiny to be like this or circumstances made me, I don't know. But it hurts. To be honest, I don't want anyone to help me now, maybe because my past experiences made my unconscious mind believe that everyone comes to me, for their interest. After that, they'll leave. It's like I've become paranoid with time. Now I don't trust people easily. To be honest, now people don't even try to come to me......






Yess, being with fake people whom one thought as the closest one, really hurts

Like other 18 years old kid, normal... Not so extraordinary, but with tiredness entire day

Hope so, it will be better with time.....

Thanks 🙌

3am Thoughts

i am afraid of dogs and people just don't understand it. It is something I cannot explain 

Phobia

I don't know what to post..... I am feel too low.
Everyone loves me but I don't want to share anything to them as they will be sad or upset. 

Exhausted

Its been more than 6 months since i broke up with her and this lonely feeling never goes away it always destroy my good mood or a nice day just in seconds .
It feels like i am no more important to anyone now.
I am not social i dont talk to anyone and i cant stay alone like this
I dont understand my feelings anymore i get angry over little things i get frustrated over silly matters i dont understand myself anymore from being cool(few used to call me) to nobody mylife have become worse

Depression

I always keep my circle friends small. I never experiencing back stabbing in my lifetime. I’m 29years old. But the biggest pain ever I experience it was from someone who said he loved me and won’t leave me at any cost. He ready to end up my 4 years relationships. He used me and ready to throw me. For seek of his family. I can felt the pain in my heart. It’s so hurting me. I really hope if there a truth about karma. Please paid the debts:) I prayed hard for this. Because everyone should learnt lessons what happen when u broke a unconditional love. 

"Let me tell you one thing
People won't understand your pain
They can understand your situation...
People won't listen to you
They heard the words that you are telling them..
Very few people will get those people in life who understands your pain 
listen to the words you didn't said...."
- Queen 👑

Mental Wellbeing

I feel like ending myself.i don't know how long im I going to deal with the process of dealing with the fact that my boyfriend has gotten engaged and marrying some one else. I don't think I have the strength. I have dealt with a trauma before and it me 5years to get over... Iv experienced loss on personal front and now life is throwing this bullshit of this guy getting engaged n married to someone else. Im a human n not robot that I can handle everything. Im trying to put my self together keep me calm try the healing process but I feel exhausted and tiring b I don't feel like working on me anymore. Im tired.tired of trying. Exhausted of being strong and dealing with so much.. a boyfriend who died to suicide in the past... Now I feel the same. .I want to end this pain .... I don't think I have the strength to be strong any more. I need fresh air to breathe.im confined to my home due to pandemic and currently the weather conditions in the city. Im loosing my focus on me. I have no hopes that things will get fine. Happiness seems a distant star  that we can only see from afar but seems impossible or a lie If it exists. I won't be able to dwell in this any longer. I don't know how long is this going to be or rather take to get done with.  My family does not understand me. I need a chance to redo things in life but I feel things have slipped out of hand. Most precious thing thing is being taken away not once but now twice.

What does life expect out of me??..

Im a human I too have a capacity to tolerate things I'm not super human n I guess life or whoever the highest power is in this creation needs to know that.

I want to figure out what is this that I'm going through? Is there any medication for not feeling this? 

Is there something wrong with me??

What is it??
Can anyone understand??

And help me??

Im tired being my own shield and protector for years.

Can I b suggested smthng to not feel this n end this??

Suggest !!

Peace out..!!

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts