I have an appointment with psychiatrist today. I just hope that I can continue this time and my parents and sibling stop meddling into my mental health matters. For them meditation and sleeping on time will fix my anxiety, severe depression and panic attacks. If only meditation could fix everything we wouldn't be needing psychiatrists in the first place. I'm just tired of explaining them that I hardly have any will left to live. It's true that no one cares until it's too late. Weird place I live in - where you are taken to psychiatrist (or babas, priests etc. when humans become too intelligent for their own good) when you declare that you are gay but you are just making excuses when you have mental health disorders. 

Depression

I have been having sexual fantasies and desires towards my sisters and mom. How can I hint them or tell them about these feelings?

Sexual Health

i was a neglected child and when my uncle listened to me and my problems and my rant about my parents, i was happy . but he started flirting and making me uncomfortable, suggesting i should be a prostitute that i should show him my 🐱 . i was scared to tell my dad right away bc we got in a fight earlier and my uncle knew to much ... well few months pasts and i decided to tell my father about my uncles behavior.. he made jokes “ calling my uncle a friend “ but after all he confronted my uncle.. and so he could save himself.. he told my dad everything, how i’m trans how i’m bisexual and that i want to move and that i don’t care ... he also told he’s wife which she was upset that he talked that way to me BUT. she said that i looked at her .. like a man ... like a steak 🤦🏻‍♂️( we went shopping and i was awkward i wanted to be nice and supportive) and complimented her .. is nothing wrong with that .. then she gone on how i played with my 8 year old cousin in a weird way .. just bc i was tickling her or scaring her ... i’m not close to kids , i just wanted to seem friendly and be nice and joyful... was i supposed to ignore her completely? they said so many horrible things just to save my uncle... i’m really done with this family... they know i want to move and i don’t care how hard it will be , i’m taking my dog and belongings with me and i’m going, i feel so sick and disgusted..

Failure

This is a confrontation I like a girl and I'm bisexual. I'm like this what do I do of my feelings!! I cannot say this to my parents. They were one day talking among themselves that within 3 years we should search a guy for her. Why???I don't want a guy. Kabhi kabhi sochti hu kash pata hi na chala hota apne bare me. 

Coming Out

Coming out is super scary and can be really hard in India. Homophobia is a real issue and baby boomers are too stuck in their ways to actually change their outlook. So if you feel like you can’t come out to your loved ones, that’s ok. Families are hard to deal with. It’s not always easy to cut ties with them and coming out is a personal choice. If you feel like you really do need to come out to someone, seek out people who are already out. Share it with your peers whom you know will love you unconditionally. Maybe start easing your parents,etc. Into the idea of you being a member of the LGBTQA. You could send them new clippings or like vids about it. Be more vocal about how you feel about the community. They WILL come around, because ultimately they will care more about you than what others have to say about it and if you feel like they won’t. Then fuck it, they’re gonna die someday. Wait for their deathbeds. 

Relationships

I came out to my friends as a bi(bisexual) not to my parents or anyone except them and won't unless I settle and have my own life. I figured it out last year thanks to the quarantine 😅. As we know sexuality is fluid so u can be a bi and then feel like lesbian or non binary or asexual but this isn't the case with me. I am sure I'm bi but won't really guarantee it coz I hate guys in the perspective of intimacy or that shits whereas I prefer girls for being intimate than guys. It's funny right ik. But can't help. People or some of my friends from the LGBTQ community says I might confront being a non-binary or lesbian or may not  in future so I shouldn't take stress in clearing out my sexual preferences. I do so. I hate or can be said can't stand homophobics or the ones who will never understand the concept of LGBTQ. I met some recently one was my friend but not close one and she said I might haven't got a great dick to taste so I'm chasing pussies. Idk why but she said it like it wasn't a big deal😑😅. I also confronted some who said me as trans coz I was wearing my school uniform which if kurta looks like a typical indian one. I have no problem with trans people but the thing which made me sad or more like frustrating was why can't people get a lil open bout different sexes it's not that hard. They said me as trans coz I have boy cut hair and a tomboy but sometimes wear pathani kurta etc but is more comfy in baggy clothes for 2 reason 1st I like hiding my fatty curves 2nd I'm comfy😅. It's like killing 2 birds with one arrow isn't it? 
So I typed out so long passage being very confusing 😂 ik but I did coz I had a frustration but a lot of things but I couldn't arrange them so it went a lil confusing pardon💙.

Some lesbian couples are so cute !!!! ❤️ I am so jealous sometimes - 

I've realised that I'm not straight at all when I'm 12. When I'm 13, I can confirm it...but I can't act towards my feeling at all because of my family and the society. No, I'm not living in a western country but Asian...and I feel like my future has already been set up by my parents and I feel like I don't have the freedom to choose what I want. Even more, I'm a bottled-up person...and I never tell anyone before...because when I was 13....I've exposed myself too much until my friends turn back against me. I'm very traumatised about it and I've decided to never tell my sexuality to anyone. I didn't say a word about it at my parents cuz my parents never cared. All they know are work, my other siblings and other stuff besides me. I've never had a good term with my dad, but my mom, we rarely talk about personal things. And believe me, there's no like hotline or help care about LGBT in my country. It's illegal and can be sent to prison. I'm worried that I might end up lonely because of my sexuality. Can someone please give me some advice about it?

Life

Anyone around gay or bisexual i wanted to talk and know them because i think people hurt them and abuse them but they deserve love and respect 

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