I have always been that person who was know to be cold and heartless, someone who has no feelings and especially romantic ones. I was the girl who would break the hearts of the guys I was involved with (I did not mean to do that but, I cannot force myself to love someone)
I spent a very long time like that. Until one day, I searched about aromantism, and I thought I was aromantic. However, this week, some weird things have been happening to me. I was getting lonelier every day. I longed for a particular person and that particular person was not even special. I just liked their presence around me. I know that my feelings are difficult to decipher and for 20 years I have never felt something like this. Now, I am afraid of loneliness, afraid of not seeing that person but I don’t want to see them. Even my body is rejecting these strange feelings, my heart is beating fast and I feel depressed, I sleep a lot and I don’t want to eat anything because I am nauseous. Deep inside, I think I know what I am feeling. Yet, I keep rejecting it because the person I am thinking about may be toxic to my independence , my self confidence and my perception of things. I am a strong independent woman, and I surely don’t need any kind of feelings to stand between me and success, what should I do?