Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

i have a friend and that friend confuses me a lot. like i don’t get him. sometimes i feel like oh yeah he can see thru me and he does understand me a lot more than i myself do.
but then there are times when i think of
this person is just trying to figure me out and he is only there for fun and may be for the sake of aesthetics lol.
bec most of the times he would just wanna hang out, go to aesthetic places and shit like that and then he’s like “people tell me abt how I’m into aesthetics and stuff but they don’t understand how you see smth, you observe smth and that attracts you” and all that
also recently i had an incident when i needed help so i vent out to him and he was like if you wanna vent out go text Kylie Jenner lol. So after that I didn’t bother him. Obviously I mean.
He is rude, selfish and mean and i keep saying that to him. That is just how he is. But he has a soft side too.
Then there are also times when he calls me whenever he see anything which he thinks is beautiful, reminds me to be kind but also not let others use me and all.

Well, honestly it’s v hard for me to understand people. I try to figure out people too just to make sure whether or not they are safe for me. I have abandonment issues bec of that I constantly feel like I could be replaced v easily.
W him I feel like I trust him but he doesn’t trust me enough to be himself and open up. Bec the problem is he too has abandonment issues. And when I shared this w one of my other friend she told me to be kind to him bec everyone who came into his life left him. So she suggested that he obviously is just not used to having someone by his side so obviously it would take time. Which I understand and fair point.

But is it fair on my side to wait and have patience when I can’t even get help from him when I need him? Like idk?
I obviously don’t wanna lose a friend but i a okay losing someone who is not willing to put the same efforts? And here I’m not being able to figure out shit like are the efforts equal? Or not? Also I’m facing a lost of low self esteem issues May be that could be reason behind all these overthinking but I just wanted write up this shit idk just felt like it. Anyways yeah that is it.