I have a feeling this has been said before and I’m just remembering it from somewhere else and rewording it but I’m a fan of words and sometimes I put them together in a way that makes sense to me and I hope to others, so here goes.
I feel like every person that you hate is just someone that you haven’t had a chance to get to know well enough, that you haven’t had a chance to empathize with. I know myself that if the few people in the world that I hate, and there are a couple, five specifically, if I had gotten to known them better or still yet somehow got a chance to know them better and they shared enough of themselves with me (which is an entirely other topic and something that not everyone is capable of entirely or really anyone because of the way the world teaches us to close ourselves off); well, in time I wouldn’t hate them anymore. I’d have to let it go because I would eventually learn the how and why of why they hurt me and I would have to choose empathy. There wouldn’t be any way around it for me, I’ve discovered that especially recently.
Empathy and understanding aren’t to be confused with acceptance, I did that for a while. I could understand why people caused me pain or trouble and I felt for them but I didn’t realize that it didn’t mean that I had to accept the behavior that was the fruit of their own pain. Because I believe as well that when we hurt others we are just in pain and we don’t know where to put it, we don’t know how to heal it, oftentimes we don’t even know where it comes from or that it’s there in the first place.
Some of us are more likely to hurt ourselves, some of us to hurt others but more likely we are all a mix of the two, all of us just stumbling through life in pain and some of us manage it better than others, or find healthier ways to numb it, some of us learn with help how to heal it but I think for too long that’s been a privilege of those who can afford it. Or who grew up in an environment that fosters healing. Or really if you were born and raised as a girl or woman, because we are allowed that, it doesn’t threaten our femininity like the world has told men it threatens their very manhood. But if we could get that into our heads and hearts, if we could not fight the knowing and understanding and the healing and open ourselves up we could spare ourselves and others so much more pain.
I mess up on the daily and I’m far from perfect but I’m trying. I’ve come to the conclusion that trying is everything, no one is perfect and no one is ever going to be but it’s the ability or more aptly the openness and willingness to try, that is everything, at least it is to me.
Just try. That’s all you can do.
And that’s everything, it really is.
Happens with me too- In any situation, I try to summarise it by words by someone else or certain quotes etc. It actually helps me understand things better somehow. Fan of words as well.
What you’ve mentioned is so true, honestly and resonates with me so much. I’d like to think of this with my own perspective as well- How wonderful would it be if people who hate ME could actually get to know me better without making a judgment about me.
Thank you so much for posting this. I really needed to hear this. We’re all just trying and that’s all we can really do. So true! Please keep posting such thoughts, I loved this post so much.
No, thank you so much for responding because what you said, it meant a lot to me. I guess we are both helping each other and I will post more. I have a tendency to post really long Facebook statuses and I think here is more appropriate but I guess I’ll just keep posting them on Facebook and then put them on here as well. Because that’s what I did with this one I literally just copied and pasted something I posted a week or two ago on Facebook. Ha. Seriously though, ❤️
Yes please do keep posting them here! I would really love to hear your thoughts and perspective❤️