I have a fear of being judged...where ever i go whatever I do I feel I am being judged even i feel my husband and family judges ...if feel awfull i have yo ask for permission to go out meet a friend etc... bad feeling of being trapped in the free workd eve  at being 35 

Same even I feel that everyone judges the way I look, speak etc 

Anxiety

Left behind. 

3am Thoughts

I feeling demotivated and lonely.
I fear talking with ppl , I was never been like this in my childhood. When I was growing up ppl started to judge me to the way I look rather than what Iam really is. This thing really affected my career a lot.
Even I tried to stay strong, there are lot of negative things rolling in my mind which are making me feel iam useless.

Can someone help me to get rid of that fear of talking with ppl and my low self-esteem ?


I really care about my mom and I want her to be happy all the time.. whenever I see her sad it becomes my responsibility to make her smile again or at least be there for her.. but when it comes to me.. I know she cares but she doesn't show it to me. Sometimes I be sad depressed and feeling overwhelmed but she doesn't even notice as I do to her. I don't know.

https://open.spotify.com/track/3NCQO8ath5huTDMXXtibH6?si=iv5ddc6CT4uzLGY41MpDCA

Happy New Year 😇

Music

All great and precious things are lonely.

I dare you to drop your biggest secret anonymously 👀


So here’s a story, as you all know yesterday was Mother’s day, and me living cross country from my mom couldn’t really do anything for her instead I had plans to make sure i spend enough time with her on phone and talk to her, give her my attention and love. Anyways, between our talk yesterday the conversation somehow drifted to what she had cooked for dinner and how i dint want to hear it as i am currently on diet to make sure i loose weight.
Now before i go any further, i know i am fat (thanks to all my childhood bullies and most ex’s) my weight and my looks haven’t always been the best thing about me. And i am completely aware of it (seriously i am not seeking for a pity remark here just stating facts).
However, the when i told her that the diet is making me cranky and miss yummy food my mom told me if i had taken care of my diet earlier I wouldn’t have to go through this (which i agree as she was rightly about it), then she went on and added that me still not been employed after 4 months of completing my master and not being as thin or pretty (fair) as my cousin sister (who recently got married), i have a pretty high demand of wanting to marry someone in their late 20’s and not 30’s probably when asked for my marriage preferences(P. S i am 24), it would be too much of a demand and that if i looked as i am right now maybe no one or maybe just maybe an older ( not shamming anyone here) would eventually settle to marry me.
Now i cut the call immediately after i said ‘then maybe I shouldn’t marry at all’ after hearing this as the call was on video and my dad and sister were also in the same room as my mom.
(I wanted to say a whole lot more but since it was Mother’s day I dint start a fight and i am pretty proud of me for that)
And this isn’t the first time my mom has made me feel ugly about myself, FYI she is very pretty touchwood. But GOD i wish i was the pretty one sometimes instead of her. (i know i am horrible)
Annnnyywwaayyyss, in short, i learnt my lesson - keep conversation short on the next damn Mother’s day

Insecurity

I came on this platform to talk and interact like minded people. I thought this would be different from other social media platforms but perverts are everywhere and my inbox have flooded with those within 4 days. IDK why such people exits. Every place where a girl can be reachable, they just throw their garbage thoughts on us and reveal their true faces. I am ignoring every request I am recieving. 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts