I hate myself for not scoring the exact same marks I wanted. I could have done better.
Marks, I don't know, matter or not in life, but right now I feel sad.
Do 12th class result matter?
If it does, why is there a hype all over the country?
Why can't it be treated like any other result?


The thing that is bothering me is entering into a college where the cut offs are touching sky.

Life

Tomorrow is my exam and I am not feeling like studying anything. I haven't even prepared anything for it... I just don't feel like it... What should I do? 

Exam

I am scoring low marks in mock tests... I am feeling so frustrated and angry... it is an important exam... I wanna quit... I wanna die... I can't handle this repeated failure...I want to run somewhere...I wanna beat someone really bad... I wanna shout and shriek constantly in empty space.. I hate my brain... I don't deserve this planet... Why doesn't someone kill me!!!!

Dreams

Is 75% considered a bad score for class 12th as a neet aspirant?

Confusion

My preboard results come out tomorrow. I wish to pass in all subjects although I am not hopeful for physics 
God 

Last year I was in grade 11 and didn't study properly. So my concepts are not strong. By the end of the year, I joined tuition because I was really not able to do it by myself. I was being taught maths by one teacher and physics/chemistry by another one. My math teacher has been teaching me for the past 2 yrs but I'm taking tuition for phy/chem for the first time.
I took tuition for like 3-4 months in grade 11 and we didn't study the whole syllabus because there was no time left. But still, whatever we studied I was able to grasp the concepts in maths, and in 12th I am very well aware of all the concepts. 
But my new teacher is not that good I guess. If he is teaching me something and that is related to some grade 11 topic and if I ask him that 'I don't recall it' or 'please tell me again, He makes me feel stupid by saying 'how come you don't know this?' 
Where on the other hand, I did not study maths either but still I'm able to understand everything properly, my math teacher clears all my concepts from grade 11.
But idk why I don't ask my phy/chem teacher to explain me properly. I really want him replaced. I know its not entirely his fault but still, I am not able to understand a single thing going on in chemistry. All the money is getting wasted. He charges for 1 hour and somedays if he teaches for an extra half an hour, he even adds that. Who the hell does that?!
Also, can someone tell me what all topics should I learn from grade 11 that are important in order to understand the concepts in 12th?

Books

I scored really low in last test... My friend must be thinking I am dumb

Failure

I scored 100 in maths in my boards and my teacher did not even looked at me... I felt embarrassed for scoring the highest... It's a 3 year old story though but... I still remember that day vividly... And my brother is in the same scl.. So he told me about the same teacher saying that anybody could score 100 in maths back then... But now it's tougher!... Rn I m not in a good state academically... I can say I am at my worst as of now!... I don't know why people's validation is so dear to me may be coz I was so used to it in the past!.. But such things just trigger that feeling of unworthiness... Lacking in academics when u were the one to ace is iit in the past just sucks
Rn I have no expectations from life... Imma do the best i can and see what happens also I don't care what any freakin person thinks of me... Either I portray myself as a dumba$$ person in front of others... Idk if I'll ever make it big in life... But the dreams I had are now soo blurred out and out of reach that it seems tough... But will keep fighting... Even if I fail everytime I'll make sure it's the best way someone could've failed! I will give blood sweat and tears to bring it to reality... 

Hope

Instead of focusing on the reasons you CAN'T do something, you should concentrate on all the reasons you CAN.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts