Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I hate my parents. My father is a drunkard and my mother is an anxious patient
Parents are meant to take care of their kids and support them, but here it is the opposite
I have to take care of 2 fcking giants who can’t move last their emotional trauma
I have friends, and their parents are nothing like mine. They talk to them, ask them about their whereabouts and plan their life so that they grow up to become perfectly functional adults. They take their children seriously and treat them as capable beings
Mine on the other hand are nothing but unpredictable 50-year- old children
My father’s alcoholism is the reason I am so rigid and a perfectionist which has harmed me in so many ways
My mother’s anxiety and yelling just doesn’t stop
One day my dad will be so drunk and the next morning wake up with a hangover and they say he is sorry and then it will all back to square one and break his promise
I feel so alone and annoyed at him
He says he doesn’t have any money but whips out a cheque for almost 200,000 buck in a hit for a long lost relative! Like wtf
I am so sick and annoyed because he lacks authority and the ability to say no and my mum justifies it by saying that ‘it’s his nature’
Gawd
What is wrong with you? And I have my practicals for 2 major subjects in the next week, and I can’t find a job to sustain my living and I am lost
My mum expects me to be this perfect child.
I was listening to some hindi music earlier and I liked it and she says the most toxic things like “I need you to be perfect and improve your language skills by listening to English songs “
I feel so free when I am not with them. I had a panic attack yesterday, with my pulse >107 yesterday, and I tried to explain it to my mom that it was all because of the pressure they put me in and she ignored by saying stupid stuff like “must be the caffeine”
Like wtf is your problem
My father will get drunk and invite long lost cousins/ relatives to live with us in the midst of my crucial exams. I hate living here. I hate how emotionally immature they are and will always be