Thought

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Anonymous

I hate my life. My parents fight every single day. I don’t remember the last time they mutually agreed on something. Usually during these fights, they use my brother and I to communicate with each other.
My mom’s a gem. But my dad has always been an emotionally unavailable person. Due to certain financial constraints and major business mistakes my dad made, for which he of course , will not take responsibility, he’s managed to alienate his two kids and his wife.
I’m sick of it honestly. I just want them to get a divorce. This has affected my mental health so much
I feel like they’re going to be better off seperate but due to the damn stigma around divorces here , mom is not agreeing. I just needed to vent. Thank you.

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9 replies
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Anonymous

Hey there. Hang in for now.

I was (kinda still am) in the same boat. For as long as I remember, I haven’t seen my parents agreeing on the same thing. My father is emotionally unavailable too. I can’t remember the last time we had a talk and we live under the same roof. My father is a totally workaholic and totally neglected (unconsciously I presume) that he has kids who need his attention. Now when he wants to talk to me, it’s a polite conversation as if I were talking to an outsider and not a family member. To compensate for my father’s indifference, my mother became overprotective which really affected my friendship/any kind of relationship. I don’t have any close friends and I have never had a boyfriend. I immersed myself into studies and reading as such. I didn’t get into the other end where I became antisocial or something but my social skills are very limited. I can’t be the first one to approach people and I don’t know how to go from being an acquaintance to being a friend and a close friend. These are the skills that one has to nurture when young. Emotional health is very important, more so in today’s fast paced life.
What I can suggest you is to practice mindfulness. If there’s something under your control that you can change for better, take a step. If not, don’t fret over it. It’s not your fault that you are born into a family that makes you feel so. Praying helps. Because when you feel you are at your loneliest, the answer that I found was in God. I don’t subscribe to religious views but I believe there is a supernatural power that helps us with our lives of we are willing to put in the effort.

So beat yourself up. Slowly and steadily inculcate habits that you help you become a better person, say 5 or 10 years from now.

@slayed

Don’t beat*

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Anonymous

I don’t pray. And I don’t think I can wait another 5-10 years. It’s so frustrating. I feel like I see no end to this. I don’t get why he behaves the way he does. And hell, don’t even get me started on his ego. Even if he knows he’s wrong, his ego will just not let him accept him and apologize. He is willing to ruin good relationships over this. Like how childish is that. He’s a father for God’s sake.

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Anonymous

I can’t even tell you how much I can relate to u. Ur every sentence has a link up with my story. My mother has suffered a lot due to my father and Im still not able to figure out why hasn’t she given upon him uptil now. My father doesn’t even know what is the date of my examination., which subjects am I studying.
He doesn’t care for me, my brother n my mother, he acts irritated all the time n it really frustrates me. Due to which I have become an introvert prsn. It’ll be so good if we both keep sharing our incidences to each other to console our feelings. 🙂 hope u agree!

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Anonymous

My dad provides monetary support for my schooling and all but other than that , not much. I’m an extrovert. I talk to a lot of people but I don’t have anyone I can call extremely close to me because I push everyone away
I’m extremely insecure and I have major anxiety. And I am so pissed off at my family because I blame them for all of this
I know it’s wrong but I just can’t help it. I think I would have been better off with them seperately raising me.

@theapplegirl

The more you are telling about urself the more I’m able to potray myself in u n it’s shocking that each word of urs hits me hard. My dad also thinks that he can buy me happiness by giving me monetary support but all I have wanted from him is his time and his care. But he never provided me with that. I love to talk to ppl but Im not the one who approaches them first. N I don’t have many frnds. So if the ppl like me r not around im the introvert part of myself. And even if I talk about the selected frnds whom I have I think that m not able to openly talk to them coz I think they judge me. They judge me for being myself.
N talking about insecurities, oh god, I have damn lot of insecurities, of beauty, of education, of career, of frnds, of family.
Uk the feeling that u have that u would have been better off if they would have separately raised u, if I share my experience I think the same way. I also think that my father is not giving me enough time I expected him to give. Smtimes my mother gets irritated with my father n ultimately her anger is poured down on me which really really irritates me. I feel that I shldnt have been born to them and instead to smone who respects girl and wanted a girl to take care of her and give her enough time. They don’t understand me. N thts why I reached out here. Is it the same case with u too? Ur mother father don’t understand u ?

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Anonymous

Give me your Instagram handle? :)

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Anonymous

Hey- I’m replying to this a year later. I hope you’re doing okay. I’m going through the exact same thing and I would really appreciate it if I could talk to you about it.

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Anonymous

Hi yess. Things have been better nowadays. I’m up for talking :)

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