I hate being surrounded by fake friends that's why I don't socialize with them alot but I do feel lonely alot I just wish I could get some true friends

Friends

Idk what's happening, maybe I am just over thinking or what but everything sucks rn.. the kind of behavior that my friends do is hurting me maybe I expect too much from them but it feels like they don't care about me 

Exhausted

how do I defer real friends from imposters? genuinely, been mentally and emotionally tired for a few weeks...

Me n my friends vid.called today after a long time. 
I felt ashamed of them doing well in their lives and me not even started working. 
I felt i am so faraway from success. 
Tired of looking like a loser
Im very happy for them tho

Caregiver

is it wrong of me to know what kind of friends i want at the age of 28? I've been told I'm stubborn for not bothering getting to know someone when I notice they hardly talk to me/ignore me. 

I’m always the awkward and boring friend, the one who will help you with anything you need but never the fun one or the one people want to hang out with. At weekends and holidays, while everyone’s hanging out with friends, I’m always just at home and I’m so tired of it.
I just want to feel like someone people would choose to hang out with but I’m the one who you come to for help but would make excuses not to be left alone with…

I feel sad because my friends never involve me and they all take pictures when there out when I asked them to go out with me that day I’m not sure what to do cause I don’t want to leave them because i don’t have others.

I struggle maintaining friendships and feeling as though I am not a bother to others, so often times I "ghost" friends, even though I don't mean to, I just feel like I'd be a bother to them. 
I go into college next year, and although I am excited about meeting new friends I am very very nervous, because I'm really shy. 
Right now, I don't really have anyone that is a friend, sometimes it bothers me and other times I feel as though I feel better with no friends. 
The only person besides my family I have is my boyfriend, and we are in a LDR. He is a year older than be and sometimes I feel like he doesn't care about what I'm saying, and that I have to beg for him to be affectionate. Him and I have been dating for almost three and a half years now. 
I know I can often take things the wrong way, he really might be busy, but I feel like a burden to even the person who has been the most consistent in my life besides my family. 
Whatever happens happens I guess. I'm just a little anxious today. 

Relationships

Later year, I was into two actors who were good friends. I knew them from my friends who explained to me about what actor A had suffered from and how actor B was helping him. It was my source of happiness after coming home from my stress job. I feel happy to see how actor B was taking care actor A and how their friendship was like brotherhood. They were very close that I'm glad to see it. I was so into their friendship that I thought they will stay friends forever.

Well, liking actors is not a good thing anyway. It made me obsessed with them. I was always waiting for them. I wanted to see them more together. I thrived for their interactions. And I fought with people who claimed actor B is not a good man because I liked him. 

It was until they had wrapped up the filming that actor B suddenly becomes cold. At first, I was thinking if this happened because of covid. There are less interactions and lots of effort from actor A to tell the fans they are good. But later on, I realized actor B actually did the same things actor A had suffered to actor A again. 

It was very devastating. I ended up pushing everything away. I didn't want to see actors. Deep into my head, I knew this happened because I was disappointed with myself to believe things that people showed on the surface. It made me stopped watching series for years until my friend suggested me to watch a new series.

Now, I have another source of happiness. I am happy with the series I'm watching and I'm avoiding knowing the actors. I am scared if thing is going to be the same as before. I know this series has different actors but sometimes it makes me feel anxious to watch the series. I am afraid that I will end up with the same remorse I felt about the previous actors.

It doesn't make sense to me why I'm feeling like this just for actors. But somehow I don't believe with people and I'm avoiding people at all cost unless they are my family.

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