I had PCOS, making it tough to conceive. But I conceived at 18 under wrong circumstances. Now, I feel like I betrayed my child. It was taking nutrition and oxygen through me, was dependent on me but I betrayed it, I had an abortion.
If it was born, it would have a very bad family, nobody supporting and considering I’m not financially independent, I would not have given a good life.
I feel bad and guilty.
you may try adoption, it lights up the life of a underprivilegded child(it was just a suggestion ;no offense)
You have nothing to be guilty about. Then maybe that was the right decision. You need to try and let go of your past. You have not betrayed anyone. Let go sweetheart. Forgive yourself. Heal. Stress can cause hormonal imbalance. Focus on your health. Might sound like a generic message but trust me you are worth all the happiness and love. Specially self love! Take care of yourself. Live! Love and Laugh!
May be you and your body wasn’t ready for the baby. Once it’s done you can’t change it so don’t waste time regretting it. Instead of that, try to meet a kid/ kids ( from your neighborhood or orphanage) or some people whome you can help out and give support. This will make you happy and body will secrete happy hormones too. This will not only help you to get out of guilt but also will help your body to become as healthy as possible. You may not completely reverse the PCOS but with good excercise and proper diet you can surely bring your body back to normal. I’m not just saying because I heard or something, even I had PCOS and I decreased size of my cyst with good diet and excercise along with good amount of positivity and self love. Unless you don’t give enough love to your mind and body your body won’t recover at its optimum. I have experienced this and I’m sure that good mind leads to good body. I wish you work on your self in a good way( don’t go too much, toxic positivity can kill your mind).
I heard somewhere " Do things you live with the people you love". Hope you get some good friends to support you! Hope your body and mind becomes healthy ASAP!
