Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I had met someone online and dated for more than a year. That person said me there is no surity of future but we will enjoy the journey together and I should not fear. I was shocked initially but he had convinced me. He use to say me I am the best thing ever happened to him. He use to want me throughout the day and use to be there with me. I had shared my private pictures. He started masturbating seeing me on video calls and asked me to do all the activities to make him feel that everything is happening in person. All these started happening on regular intervals and he use to see all the time on video calls and pictures. I thought it was all love. Suddenly after 1 year after coming so close mentally, emotionally and physically he wanted a breakup. He did not reply to my calls and texts. I had broken down completely. I use to have anxiety, panic attacks, cry a lot, loss of appetite, physical problems, physical illness, couldn’t concentrate at work and just couldn’t understand what is happening with me. He said he will never wish to talk to me because I don’t hold any value because I cried infront of him, he wished he hadn’t even met me, I am mad, fool, I will suffer a lot in life due to my emotions, why I am reacting this way, did he ask me to do everything, do I know the meaning of love, he doesn’t feel for me. One day he shouted badly and said why I am calling or messaging him these will be the last call and he will block me straightway. I was shivering and crying on my rooftop badly. It has been more than 6 months but still I am not out of all these. I had talked with many people. I have pushed myself very hard to come out of all these. I feel like I have given up now. I feel I am mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted and that I don’t have any energy left anymore for anything. I am not able to understand anything now how to make myself out of all these. I am literally tired and dead from inside. Please help.