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Anonymous

I had joined Bumble around 6-7 months ago.
Most of them were open about the fact that they just want to hook up.
At first I felt frustrated. But then I just accepted and chose to be less judgemental.

The reason due to which I joined is that I was I was in an other state than my hometown, and I wanted someone I can connect to.

I did find a very few people who didn’t speak about hooking up… And my past experience in relationships made me feel its better to know a person as a friend before dating them.
So when this guy said he didn’t want a relationship, we just decided to meet casually. Which ended up wanting to hook up, mutually decided and accepted in advance.
Things fast forward, we use to talk a lot, and I felt some kind of importance from.
I have started having feelings for him, and he has several times said that he doesn’t want to date, on being asked… but then keeps calling me his girl and wanting to hookup. But then says I’m special to him
This is getting to my head and I really miss him. Its starting to make me doubt myself and my productivity in my work front has gone tremendously down. I know this is toxic for me. But he felt like home to me in city that is not my hometown, with someone is reach out to in distress.

I don’t feel like talking to anyone the way I used to with him. And I’ve felt so negative at times that I find myself thinking about ways to end my life. I know I should not and I will not do that. But these negative thoughts are getting into my head and hampering my mental health.

2 Comments
Post anonymously?
usename
@usename

Honestly?
You have to come clear sometime… it’s not only essential but very much needed. I have been through something similar and ended up losing everything, I still haven’t recovered but getting closure and having a definite relationship/friendship is way more important. If he only wants to hookup he could have left long ago. I don’t want to get your hopes up but just confront him and ask him. Get things out in the open and accept them. Then only you can do something about the matter.

youareimportant
@youareimportant

Hey!
Since if you have done it already, its gone and is PAST. People make mistakes and its ok. The very important thing to do is to understand and learn from them. You can connect more to the real world like the people you know and work with everyday. Wait is really important, and when the right time will come, you will connect to a good person as well who will take care of you. For now, try meditating, try being productive by thinking positively and to make changes in your life by learning from your mistakes and not repeating them/effecting you.