Thought

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Anonymous

I had a past not breakup or losing someone .it was more than that being let down by you family.it was hard i was 17 years old by then i used to cry all night and in the morning would spend hours in my mobile watching he same thing again(for example playing the same video song again and again)and thinking something which is never gonna happen i used to spend all my time alone and fighting with my family members it was full of darkness now when i look back i m still scared i cant talk about that without having tears in my eyes.its been 4 years it still hants me i still get angry at my family whenever i think about that but i dont tell them i just cover it up with a smile and now i have terrible moodswings which is killing me i sometimes think i need professional help but till now i couldnt even figure out if i have depression or had. i lost my self confidence my self esteem my pure happiness now when i look back my life feels so empty sometimesโ€ฆ

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3 replies
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Anonymous
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Hi, Iโ€™m really sad that youโ€™ve had to go through all of this. I understand that we always look to our family if any problem comes up and it will break if they let us down.
But, u know what comes before family. That is YOU. YOU comes before any other person in this world. Sometimes the things may go differently and you may end up not getting the required support from your family or friends. But dont let that situation feel you that you arenโ€™t enough. We should accept that we cant force someone to be there for us and to understand our feelings.
At the same time itโ€™s your utmost responsibility to look after you and to take care of you. Trust me NOBODY will be there for us, but you should be there for YOU.
4 years is a really long time my friend. Youโ€™ve gone through enough of trauma. Now please put a pull stop to it. And when it comes to holding the feelings, the more u hold them the more u will end up getting hurt. If u donโ€™t let them out ,we dont even know what u will have to face in your future.
Please sit with your family and let all the emotions and trauma you are going through. If you dont let it our it will surely break u more harder, seeing them normal while u are going through this will definitely hurt u bad from inside, u donโ€™t deserve this pain .And please dont expect them to understand. If they understand it, it will be very helpful and if not still itโ€™s okay, as I already said we cant force someone to do something. I want u to do this because I want u to feel liberated. You deserve all the happiness in the world.
Once you tell them and if u still have that feeling then I guess u should consult some professional.
And not let your self esteem down, just because your family is not supportive. Your self esteem ,your happiness, everything totally depends on you. Take one problem at a time, once this is over. Everything will be gonna fine for sure.
Please let me know if u need any kind of further help.
Take care

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Anonymous
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thankyou so much for taking your time
this really made me feel better

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Anonymous
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i m just scared to break it to my family that i m going through this
i dont know how will they react

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