Lia @leelia
I get really triggered when i’m being yelled at, like any time someone raises a little bit they’re voice against me it makes me go insane internally, i feel horrible and usually i cry, not bc im sad but because i’m mad and it stresses me out. I want to disapear when this happens to me, i don’t know how to exlain how i feel but it feels like i just want everything to end for a second or i’ll lose my mind, and i get really bad anxiety. Does anyone knows why this happens to me? idk why it irritates me so much like it can literally just be someone raising their voice more than usually but it feels like someone has just stabbed me and im going to die for a second.
I feel like that too😞
Ishita @ishita
I feel this happens because of some childhood trauma for example seeing someone being yelled at or someone fighting and hurting the other person. You can either take professional help or there are other ways. Something that you can practice for this is deep breathing and closing your eyes; picturing something like a tree or the moon; anything which calms you down. Just try not to think anything. Try to shut every sense organ that tells you someone is yelling. Focus on your breathing and your heart beat.
More power to you love! Stay strong.
Lia @leelia
But i don’t think i have any childhood trauma + this started to happen recently and it just gets worst. Idk i also started to feel like everyone secretly hates me and i can’t help but overanalize everyone’s actitude towards me so like when ppl yell at me it makes me feel horrible idk how to describe the feeling, and about what you said i could do, i haven’t tried that so thanks for telling me. One thing that happens to me as well is i like cringe to myself a lot? (idk if that’s the right description) i just sometimes remember something or think about something and it makes me feel like self hatred, when that happens i always start counting and it helps me not to think about it, so i guess trying to picture something nice to just not think about what’s going on can really help calm down. Actually know that i think about it i might have some traumas, i was bullied for a long time and i did have some ppl yell at me, and that could also explain why i think everyone hates me and everyone’s secretly judging me, it’s just when u said childhood trauma i thought about my family that’s why i said i didn’t think so, but it could be that idk.
Ishita @ishita
Leelia, what you feel is completely normal. Tell me how many friends do you have? And do you talk to someone outside family that is close to you on a daily basis?
Ishita @ishita
As you told that you were bullied that could have developed a part in your brain that always tells you that you are not enough. You might feel incomplete or broken at times. And also, during this corona pandemic everyone is so alone that they have started overthinking. One part of letting of this part is by forgiving the people that bullied you. You must be angry on them and anyone would be. To let go of that self hatred try forgiving them. Try to write down what hurts you what breaks you and what makes you feel hated. Then one by one read that out loud and say to yourself that - THIS IS NOT TRUE. I AM BETTER THAN THIS. I FORGIVE EVERYONE AND I FORGIVE MYSELF TOO.
Whenever i felt something like what you feel now i used to write down this - BELIEVE. HAVE FAITH. BE PATIENT. ACCEPT. this turned out to be more helpful than i thought. Work on yourself and listen to your deep inner voice that is telling you that you are strong. And you will get your answers all by yourself.
Lia @leelia
Thanks for the reply, i like writing my feelings down as well and i do think that helps, i don’t really have any friends i just have ppl i talk to but i don’t trust my problems to anyone so writing how i feel is the only way to get it out of my chest, what you said about bullying affecting me making me thing this way i think that has defenetly happened i just didn’t feel it before but now that after everything that has happend to me and after growing and thinking about stuff i have developed insecurities. It migh not have affected me that much when it was happening cuz i was in a better place but now i have become more vulnerable and im starting to notice what that has done to me and all the damage that it left in me. Thanks for ur advice i’m trying to work on these, i’m trying to work on knowing my worth and not being so affected by other’s, i know i care way too much about what other’s could think to the point i have become obsessed and really meticulous when it comes to how i act in front of other’s and how i always analize their behaviour to make sure they like me and it makes me feel like absoulte trash if it looks like they don’t (most of the time it’s just in my mind ppl not liking me or judging me, and i also know i shouldn’t take things to personal but i can’t help it) It’s hard for me not to be like this but i really hope i can’t cuz i hate how much power ppl have on me, something someone says, any confusing sign in their actittude can ruin my day, my week, month and stay as a new insecurity, i wish people didn’t have a shot on me.
Lia @leelia
* can
(btw sorry for any spelling mistakes i have dyslexia + english isn’t my first language
Ishita @ishita
No worries sweet heart. You are doing great.
Ishita @ishita
You know. This world is self obsessed. And nobody gives a damn about any other person. In todays world of the millenials all that this generation can think about is if their make up is okay or not. And also people are always going to judge you. No matter what you do or not do. Even if you take a single breath it can cause other people problems like- hey you are not breathing the right way. All you have to do is ignore them. And most importantly give yourself space for yourself. Try sharing what you feel anywhere that you can. Be strong.
