Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I gave up my dog, my Nimo, because my one love, my mom, didn’t wanna keep him.

I gave him to a person I thought was my really good friend. I gave it to him in the hopes that I’ll be able to keep meeting him.

But recently, that person said a lot of bad things to me and made me feel like shit. Actually, he has been hurting (not physical violence) me for quite a while. He hurt me emotionally a lot of times in the 5 years I’ve known him for. It’s just that I was too blind to see it. And I also didn’t wanna lose the only friend I had left.

Is it really okay for people to treat you like shit just because they know our weakness? Is it really fair? I’m bound now. I feel so trapped, suffocated, that I’ll have to keep talking to that person who treated me like shit, because I can’t stand not being able to meet my dog.

I had brought Nimo home, against my parents wishes, just because I thought I deserved being happy. He was 39 days when I brought him, and I nurtured him and treated him as I would treat my own human baby. And a child, is a mother’s heart just with a body of it’s own. I mean, you guys would think that I’m being really dramatic, but I’m really dying inside. This suffocation, this loneliness is killing me inside. If only Nimo was here with me, I wouldn’t be thinking about killing myself right now.

I miss him like hell. And I wanna take him in again, I’m ready to fight again, but that person just won’t give him back to me. I haven’t been able to stop crying since the phone call with my friend last night, not because I’d lose a friend, but because I won’t be able to meet Nimo if I stopped talking to him.