I gathered courage and broke up w my ex 15 days back, we were in love and wanted to get married. Our parents were happy w the relationship too, but since the past 1 year he was a changed man. When we first started dating he asked for the password of my social media, and i was so mad in love i gave it to him, he also exchanged his passwords w me, everything was great for a year, we were happy, we had our fights but nothing major, suddenly one day after a stupid small fight he said you keep your passwords to yourself and I’ll keep mine, we should make new friends, I didn’t understand what happened but i agreed to it because i thought there was nothing wrong and i trusted him anyway, so I didn’t need his passwords. Few days after when i was clicking a selfie from his phone i see a girls text saying hi cutie, i was a lil sceptical and when i confronted he fought, i understood that they must be friends, few days later he talks to some girl in the night who is his friend but lied to me that it was all boys conference call when i confronted he asked me to fuck off, I forgave him because we saw a future together, with time I started to notice things, everytime i use to say him things that bothered me, we would end up fighting. We live in the same city and he only use to meet me once a week for an hour though he use to get down everyday, for a year i fought for us asking him to meet me atleast two days a week when he lived 5 mins away from home, i was never against him meeting his friends, he said don’t try to dominate me, i was only asking him to meet me 2 days and meet his friends for 5 days, until i gave up, and broke up w him, in these 2 years i never went out w him, he acts like i did the wrong thing breaking up w him, he behaves like a victim and shows that i was the wrong one to break up w him, that i only wanted to go out to fancy places that is why I broke up w him, but i loved him and wanted to marry him, and if i need to ask for something as basic as time and efforts , how can i marry someone like that?
Hi Anonymous, let me first tell you that you did absolutely right coming out of this relationship. Have you ever heard of the term “Gaslighting”? It is an act of manipulating a person forcing them to question their own thoughts, memories or events that have occurred and make it all seem like it’s their fault. I believe that’s what he has been doing to you. And I am here to tell you that it isn’t. You are strong enough to come out of such an unhealthy relationship. As far my understanding of how relationships should work it should be you and me vs. the problem and not you vs. me. My suggestion would be taking time to love and nurturing yourself now. Be kind to yourself! Take care
Tanisha Jain @jaintanisha4
But does he even love me? I think if you love someone and really want to get married, you make time for them, and now posting all the sad stuff on your stories, which confuses me, idk why does it hurt. And how a year changes a person so much, for the first year he was a different man, mad in love w me, wanted to talk to me, if i got angry he would do anything to make things right between us, i cannot understand 😭
See, communication is the key to any relationship, so if he has something to tell you then he should just be upfront and talk about it, talk about solutions. Putting up stories that might relate to you and you should be capable enough to understand is just naive. If a year changes the person and the chemistry you both shared, then this is not what a healthy relationship looks like to me.
Niara D @niara
You did good girl. Asking for bare minimum is not luxury.
Black widow @shreya0208
Life is very unpredictable…you tried your best in this relationship but it didn’t work out…it wasn’t your fault. In a relationship two people have to make effort. So yeahh move on…you will find a guy who will treat you like queen.
You did the right thing. I know its gonna be rude of me to say, but sharing your passwords at the first place was a not to do thing, it was a red flag. But eventually you did the right thing or you would have hurt yourself more. You’ll find someone great, and just know that you dont need anyone’s approval to be happy or to do things like sharing passwords or anything similar. Positive vibes to you :).
I was so mad in love, I didn’t notice all those things, i feel so relaxed after sharing my thoughts here, and people letting me know that i did the right thing, thankyou
Girl tell me one thing. When you confronted him about that “Hi cutie” part …what explanation did he give you
He said we call each other cutie, monkey masti me
Urgh. Sometimes I don’t understand why certain girls don’t understand how their words can harm a relationship. I’m not saying it’s wrong to be that way with friends but it’s wrong to behave that way with a commited person. I don’t know correct me if I’m wrong. But to be honest I have seen committed people who have good friends in their life whom they call these names. Provided you already knew about this girl. If it someone u dint know then def red flag
Tanisha Jain @jaintanisha4
So this girl was his bestf’s ex gf, and his bestf and this ex were in friends with benefit situation, so when he met her, i was a lil insecure and i told him about it that I don’t get a good feeling about this, so he said me I won’t talk to her and I believed him, but then i saw the hi cutie text which was first sent by my ex and then this girl replied to it saying hi cutie 😢
Seems like you took a good decision girl
Tanisha Jain @jaintanisha4
And made me believe that i was over reacting because people call each other w names, they were not flirting or anything