I finally realized why I kept calling 911 because I wanted someone to see I was hurting , I wanted someone to listen and someone to talk to. when I was younger I was afraid of my Mother I hid in a closet and cried , I was forced to lie down and sleep then she even threatened me with a Broom I wanted someone to save me I see those Superhero Marvel movies where the Superhero can tell when their’s something wrong or off and at the end of the day the world is safe. Superheros save the world
let’s pretend that the Cops were the Superheros they never saved me they never got rid of the bad guy which was my Mom. she called me a slut , she put a knife in the door so I couldn’t escape but when I did it was 12:00 am in the morning I went outside bare foot or sometimes with socks. me and my Mom got into a fight one time and some people were driving by my Neighbour’s saw me crying and invited me over to their house to talk. when I was at my Grandmas house in Calgary she told me you will never see your mom again even on holidays even though she knew the situation she hurt my feelings I wrote a suicidal letter and went to the hospital I was missing my Mom I wanted to be with her but I couldn’t. I defended my Mom to everyone Caseworker’s and my Sister she was a good person but I was wrong she had never changed. I couldn’t even make up my mind whether she had changed or not. I threatened to push her down the stairs a long time ago because I hated her she abused my Brother because he didn’t get his way but then again my Brother made me have 2 anxiety attacks he hit my Mom in the chest with a sweater , punched my Dad in the face and cut my Dad’s finger to the point where it was bleeding. he threatened to kill my Mom he said he would push her down the stairs , he said at the dinner table that he was going to stab and kill us and he again threatened to kill me and was actually going to grab a knife out of the drawer until I closed it shut. the staff at his group home didn’t tell us he tried to cut his arm with glass because he was overwhelmed. she won’t even press charges she says I can protect myself he even made her cry. he said that if he get’s back into the group home van with the guy staff he would take the wheel punch him in the face and kill him.
I read each and every words of your post…and through it i can understand how you are feeling…i can understand how these things have an impact on you … I can’t do anything that can change the situation… but i can help you so that these things won’t affect you at the extreme level… because all i get to know from all these things you mention is that it is having a deep impact over you,…so I’m here for you… don’t you think that you are fighting alone…