I fell in love with the illusion that you could love me. I kept holding on to your every words, but it was your action that woke me up. Thank you. 

How can you be soo accurate .
Like I can relate to every word of your s . 

Breakup

How was your day?

Compassion

🥺 don't feel like getting up today

Life

when guys like your instagram story while having girlfriends 🤢🤢🤢 

3am Thoughts

i want to let it all out and yeah im skipping details. so i belong from south asia and i spent my childhood very happily with my parents. i am their only child and we were a happy family. the family everyone wishes to have. then one day it was a family event we all gathered up and were enjoying but ig fate wanted to teach me something so yk desi family events and all the relatives just drive one van or bus so we were all staying at my grandfathers house which is out of the city so the next day we all were coming back to our homes like my dads side family and my mom dad me all together. we went through a horrible accident in which i lost my parents my aunt my youngest uncle and my 3 cousins. i broke my whole leg my 4 ribs and my thumb of left hand got cut off. i was in hospital for almost 2 months and that was the worst phase of my life. soon after my grandpa passed away too. i realised that i was not a child anymore. i told myself daily that im responsible for my ownself now. no ones gonna treat me the way they did before as im an orphan now. no ones gonna care for me. so my parents were rich like not very rich but richer then my family and  my greedy uncle wanted to raise me up to get that money and run the business. my mothers brother used to drink when he was alive. so he raised me up for 3 years and it was hard to live with such a mean man but he tried to take care of me and i turned 14 the money we had was all gone bc of his bad habbits. now again it was the worse phase i had to drop out of school as we didnt have enough money to pay for my tution. we didnt have any money like if one eats 3 times a day we used to eat 2 times and that too a very less amount of food. i  took a job of maid as i wasnt educated or old enough to do some other work and i also started to give tutions but it wasnt much paying so my uncle saw it all and was worried and decided that he will sell the house and start a business with that money and will take better care of me. 2 years passed and now i was 16 nothing changed just we lost our house too as my suffered a huge loss in business. we didnt have enough money to pay rent so my uncle decided to live with his friend and i started living as a 24 hrs servant with a 40 yr old couple. i worked there for 7 months and got sexually assaulted by that man. i told my uncle that i cant do this anymore he took a loan from loan sharks. we rented a room and lived there until i found out im going to have a baby. i didnt want to have a child at 17 but idk somehow i got attached to that baby bc none of it was that babys fault. due to lack of money i couldnt take care of myself and lost that baby too. i was in depression bc nothing was going my way my uncle saw no other option so he sold me off to a 57 yr old man. i didnt have any energy to say no so yeah i agreed to it as i wanted to have money and live a normal life too i didnt care abt anything else. like i decided to be a wh0r3 i obviously thought that this old man will use me for wrong purpose but it wasnt true. he was a kind man who just wanted to do good to others. i was about to turn 19 when i met this man he was the definition of perfect he was all good. he took care of me in a way no one did. he never did anything wrong to me. i lived 8 years with him and in those 8 yrs i eventually fell in love with him ik it sounds weird but yes i loved that man. its true that age is just a number. but he always saw me as his daughter and i never had a chance to tell him that i loved him  actually i had alot of chances just didnt take those chances. again i had to face my fear. fear of losing a loved one. yeah when i turned 28 i lost him as he was a diabetic patient. its my biggest loss. im 33 now and its been 5 yrs but i still cant move on i mean im happy with my life with the memoried of him but i cant let anyone else take his place. im financialy stable. have my own house. have friends but i dont have him i dont have my parents i dont have my baby. sometimes i miss my uncle too. my whole life is a trauma for me. sometimes i just want to die but then i remember his words he always told me to not give up so im here living for him

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