I feel that I overthink a lot on people and stuff who doesn’t value me . Maybe because of my past my friends have always betrayed me and I was really in a bad condition for like a year because of a huge fight with my old friends. even in my past relationship I was told that I’m too clingy and that I’m immature well I feel more than relationships it’s the friendships that left me a scar. I have major attachment and abandonment issues now.
Now I’m in a relationship with this guy since 9months and everytime we argue or if he says something to me I take it too seriously. He says that I prioritize others more than me and that I should prioritize myself first and then others including him. This really hit me I can’t help but overthink and even right now I’m scared that he’s gonna leave me no matter how much reassurance he gives. I feel like what if he’s too gonna leave me like my other friends did and my ex. I also tend to hide my family stuff from him cause I think that what if he’s gonna think of me like others. And I do the same thing with my family too
How do I start prioritizing myself more and stop thinking so much about others and value the people who deserve my caring and valueless like my family etc btw I’m only 18
Just balance between them instead of focusing on just yourself.
It’s easy to say but idk man it’s just really hard like I want people to like me
Things are easy it’s just we make them difficult and tough and just be yourself that’s it people will like it that way don’t need toh change to let people like you…
There’s this fear inside of me thinking that this nature of mine will ruin everything
Well true but I feel it kinda hard to even address all of these issues to him man there’s a lot of past trauma for sure 😭😭
Start loving yourself and see how the prospective of love changes for you.
How do I start loving myself when there’s nothing to love I’m talking about the inner things not physical features well technically I hate my body too but yeah that’s another topic 😭
Bhavna P. @bhavna_pande
Firstly, it takes a lot of self-awareness to recognize the impact of past experiences on your present relationships. It’s completely understandable that trust issues linger when you’ve faced betrayal before.
It’s commendable that you’re seeking ways to prioritize yourself more. Starting small can be key – acknowledging your feelings and gradually challenging the negative thoughts about being abandoned. Opening up to your partner about your fears and working together on building trust might strengthen your relationship.
Consider seeking support from friends, family, or even professional help like counseling to navigate these feelings. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your own well-being and trust those who genuinely care about you.
If you find it helpful, my counseling services are available for a more personalized exploration of these challenges. Take care, and prioritize yourself.
Psychologist Bhavna Pande
Thank you bhavna!
Bhavna P. @bhavna_pande