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โ€บSuicidal Ideationโ€บThought

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I feel so sad and pathetic
Everyone around me is living their life going out with friends, partying, being happy
everyone have something they enjoy in their life
I have nothing.
all I ever wanted to be is to go to college with my friends and live a happy normal life where my problems are studying and relationships and all that.
but I had to take a job when I was 18 to look after my family after my fathers death.
I have a debt to payback for the loan we took for building a house and not enough money.
and above all that I am a girl and wherever I go I see judging eyes and I donโ€™t have my freedom to go out with friends or go to a movie or anything which give me an ounce of happiness I donโ€™t have the freedom to do that.
I am struggling, I am trying so hard but it is never enough.
I want to laugh loud without worrying.
I want to get through my day without overthinking .
I just want to be happy and at peace .
I am a good person and I deserve to be happy.
sometimes I feel like I want to die.

2 replies
This thought has been deleted by the thought author

thank you soo much you kind words means a lot๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ’•
actually mom is strict and she donโ€™t let me go out often
but anyway thank you soo much
i needed this your words meant so much


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