I feel so sad and hurt right now. My girlfriend is upset about me. I try to ask her and she doesn't say what make her upset about me. In the end, she just say "night!" And go offline. Leave me alone. I don't know. I just feel so sad right now. 

Hi,
Relationships are like that always. She might have so stress of something. And sometimes she might be pretending that she is upset just because she wants you to talk to her so lovely and cute way to make her up. Girls like those stuff. Making your boyfriend begs to take her back things. Just it will be alright. Time is the best answer.
Stay safe

Relationships

So my current bf is not so physically attractive but that's okay... I didn't go for his looks when I started loving him. It's been 3 years of our relationship. But the thing is I am getting this weird feeling. 
It's my side of story idk how he will describe me. I was toxic according to me earlier but I changed a lot. He didn't change a bit. I was become toxic because of his one such behaviour I can't resist getting furious on him. I already said that I won't share such things but he thinks it's important. Ik it's important but why tf were you forcing me. I want to be comfortable first with you. He did this in 1st and  2nd year of our relationship. Still do this
 And things kept on adding more and more. 
But I changed a lot for him and he didn't. Ik he changes the day after I leave him then again the cycle kept on repeating. I am not able to leave himmmmmm mannnn... I would have left him very early instead of being toxic but I just can't... 
The problem is I am getting unrealistic expectations looking at social apps and people around me or listening to my friends that I am settling for less. Idk about that bruh whether I am settling for less but I lowered my expectations for him. My first ex was way way wayyyyyyy more better than my current one. But idk now he is with someone else nor i am going to him anyway(we brokeup cuz her brother and mom get to know about us, and they treat me like their sister or idk, his father is very friendly tho but maa hi ajeeb hai uski, khair maa to maa hai) that relationship ended in class 11th and met my current one in June 2019(I was in 12th). I only fell for him cuz of his voice but okay tho... I just want to be treated like the way he treated me... He never understands me... Even my love language is samee... He used to share memes(not the cringe rvcj one) and I do tye same with my current and he just don't give a f... Idk man it hurts looking at people getting more than they expected and here I am lowering my expectations for him... That wasn't even unrealistic... Kept on replying with okay acha n all but can't understand what I mean behind everything I share... 

3am Thoughts

https://open.spotify.com/track/3M2bD9SMYnJIPdrTKUnBd3?si=DGXrlDI1TPm-jonKjFdKxA



this song hits different at 3am

Name some of the luxurious items which you have anything it maybe phone or anything which is very close to you ...which you have earned with hardwork ...

Hustle

TBH!

Love

Okay. How to say this? But I need to start some way.
I am 17 year old girl. I was trying my heart and soul to get taller but just stucked in 4ft 7. How abnormal is that? Some may think that I shouldn’t bother about it. It is my body and maybe it's my fate so that's unchangeable. Worrying about it won't help and I should focus on other things. Trust me, I tried. I tried for 17 years of my life and whenever I tried to do something, I got humiliated. People laugh at me seeing my height as it seems like a kid. I know it’s weird but that's hard for me to stay in places where I am treated like a clown 24/7. Do I deserve this? My parents are also short so at some point, I got to know that I won't be growing anymore. When I didn’t even grow in my growth stage, how can I grow at the end of my growth stage? But I knew, nothing is impossible. So I start gathering courage and again worked hard. Tried to do many stretches and drink milk but all in vain. Nothing has changed. It pains a lot when stretch my legs and arms. I was just that close from crying because my body was being weak and hurting a lot from doing these. But at the end of the day, my hard work didn’t pay off. It was not worthy. What to do? I still didn’t become hopeless cause I know I have to live. And here, people continuously judged me. My friends, my cousins, teachers, neighbours, shopkeepers everyone just stare at me when they find my age. Some people laugh in front and some in back. I always tried to ignore but how long? How long a person can? It is obvious that a person will feel bad and be in depression. Was it my fault? What did I do to deserve this? I see my friends getting proposal from boys and I am here treated like a baby. Not nicely but mockingly. It just doesn’t feel good. It's actually not their fault also. They will obviously laugh at me cause I am just not normal. I look weird for my age. I get it. No guy will be interested in me. How can I live my life alone with no partner? It scares me. My parents won't be always there with me. They are good but thet are also worried about me thinking how will I survive in future. I am also scared. Even if I study hard, I will be a joke in colleges, universities and maybe in offices too. Going to school is really hard for me. I always get the undesirable stares and laughs. I just can't tolerate this. It also affects my mental health and I am unable to focus on anything. Even I want to develop my skills and be the better version of myself, I will have to go somewhere to take courses and guess what? I will have laugh there too.Everyone laughed at me when I was taking English courses. So thats not made. Thats gonna be true. It makes me cry. I can't even stand in the society properly. I wish, our society was less judgemental. I see no hope for my future. I fear when my parents leave me, I will be all alone. These thoughts kill me inside. I know worrying won't help but these worries just come. How can I ignore these when I know these are going to be true? 

Depression

i don't wanna stay in to my family anymore. I want to go far away from them at least see them in a while is enough because living my whole life depending on them makes me more useless. I did everything to be nice, to be as a person as i can be and  I don't even know if they know how i feel. I have been staying in three different houses; one where i live with my dad, he is jobless and somewhat ass whole for his doings i don't even know if he gave up already or what. second to my auntie, where i feel being threatened and not belong to them. it feels like I'm sucker to them which i don't really like. Really i just wanted not to be alone and luckily my cousin here is much as of my family best friend and that's why i enjoyed it but yeah, there's this limits that I'm not capable of doing so. lastly, on my auntie's, my mother's sister, living to its most triumphant way even though that I'm just a there to waste time being a hand held hostage for my mother's sake thinking that i would much be better their because i have food and safety. the first one, i really love staying their because i have friends there to talk with, to have fun and stuff. but the sad part is that i only meet 2 or 3 people some time which sucks to. quality over quantity i guess but i feel im not happy too just now because i feel like im nothing to. shit. i just wanna feel safe and homed, and the fact that im alone i can't do anything to fixed up by saying all these things up i might destroy my trust to them. i hope someday i'll forgot i got this kind of life and live to it when im a bit more older. If you think you don't have this kind of life, please nourish it. I've been wanting to have a good life but instead i have to work for it still. aight that's all 🙂

Family

Hey guys! I went on a date with a guy from bumble in march and we have not met once since then but we talk often but not that often. He says he is busy in work. Should i take this any further??

I feel depressed all the time. I have so much regret in my life that I keep on holding to it. I have no friends, no girlfriend (low self esteem, self confidence, doubt of my physical apperance), no one to share my feelings too. I am porn addict. I just got to know today that I missed my 2nd class honors in Engineering college just by 1 point. To get that GPA I worked my ass off for 4 years and didnt drop any subject in my semesters. I live in a country whose native langauge i cannot speak which makes it difficult for me to find job especially due to Covid. I dont know what am I doing with my life or what do I want to achieve. I have missed many career opportunities just because I am afraid to step out of my comfort zone. I wish I could get back in past and change the decision that I made (Btw I am extremely bad in taking decisions).


Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts