I feel so destructive in my relationships and I don't know what to do about it. I keep pushing people away and hurting those around me because I can't seem to get my emotions out and I feel so broken. I spend nights alone crying because even tho I have people around me, I don't have anyone who I can confide in. I may not be alone but I feel so lonely. I'm not okay. 

It's been going on for a while for me. 2 years. And a recent incident made me feel like there is something wrong with me 

I have a lot of insecurities from being in a toxic relationship and now that I have a good one in my life, my partner thinks I'm hung up on my ex. In the anger that I felt for him saying that, we had a fight and he nearly left and since then, I've been terrified that it'll be one more relationship I've destroyed in my life 

It's complicated. He has a life where his biggest problem is his job. He shares everything with me and I struggle to say something because he ignores my problems. The last fight we had, he brought up that I've got so much baggage that I'm impossible to be with and that broke me 

His best friend and I have been talking for months now and she always claims that she's there for me but she always takes his side whenever I say something. I don't have many people left in my life because of my habit of pushing people away 

If I keep quiet in the moment, these things come back up in later fights. And then I'm accused of being hung up on things in the past

I try to speak up but I'm blamed regardless. I keep trying to make things work but I always tend to fuck up 

She claimed that she was there for me too but it's always his side that she takes. She always blames me saying that he's unhappy with me and she went even as far as saying that he's an idiot for loving me. When I brought that up to him, he refused to believe me and ignored it 

I feel so alone and lonely at times because I have no one to turn to and my thoughts take over and I become my biggest enemy telling myself I'm not good enough

Thank you for listening! It's hard to find people in the world who actually listen nowadays or at least that's what I've seen in my case

Well if you ever need anything, I'm happy to be an ear and listen. I've learned to appreciate those who help others because this world can be cruel on us. 

Peaceful is the last way I would describe myself but yeah. I would love to help you in any way I could. I know I certainly need the help

Depression

Zindagi me jab aap koi acchi koshish karoge na to har cheez aapko tab tak rokne aayegi jab tak ya to aap haar nahi maan jaate ya use hara nahi dete. 

Affirmations

I want someone like tom holland. Is that too much to ask for😭

Movies

i love you

3am Thoughts

I imagined you, I drew you in my dream
The secret you I kept alone
You came into my little star, my little heart
The trembling I will really in front of you
I drew in my imagination
I kept it only in my dreams
I'll met you like this...

It's 12:00 am and now I'm unable to sleep many thoughts were roaming in my mind I just want to sleep peacefully but my heart and mind didn't listening to me losing all and all hope the girl who is always wants to be positive and make other people positive too is now getting down and narcissistic it's being 5 years from my schooling to college everything has been changed what I've expected is completely different from reality. I mean it's ok to move on their own own paths and achieve their dreams but it doesn't mean you will forget all things that once upon a time it makes you feel jovial and good from inside 

Anyhow once again I'm facing a third wheel embarassment and now it continues 

Good night guys.

“Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way.”

Life

If anyone is there to talk ? 

It's been 5 days .... I'm having severe headache in between the day times n night times too can someone please help!!!

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts