I feel so destructive in my relationships and I don't know what to do about it. I keep pushing people away and hurting those around me because I can't seem to get my emotions out and I feel so broken. I spend nights alone crying because even tho I have people around me, I don't have anyone who I can confide in. I may not be alone but I feel so lonely. I'm not okay. 

It's been going on for a while for me. 2 years. And a recent incident made me feel like there is something wrong with me 

I have a lot of insecurities from being in a toxic relationship and now that I have a good one in my life, my partner thinks I'm hung up on my ex. In the anger that I felt for him saying that, we had a fight and he nearly left and since then, I've been terrified that it'll be one more relationship I've destroyed in my life 

It's complicated. He has a life where his biggest problem is his job. He shares everything with me and I struggle to say something because he ignores my problems. The last fight we had, he brought up that I've got so much baggage that I'm impossible to be with and that broke me 

His best friend and I have been talking for months now and she always claims that she's there for me but she always takes his side whenever I say something. I don't have many people left in my life because of my habit of pushing people away 

If I keep quiet in the moment, these things come back up in later fights. And then I'm accused of being hung up on things in the past

I try to speak up but I'm blamed regardless. I keep trying to make things work but I always tend to fuck up 

She claimed that she was there for me too but it's always his side that she takes. She always blames me saying that he's unhappy with me and she went even as far as saying that he's an idiot for loving me. When I brought that up to him, he refused to believe me and ignored it 

I feel so alone and lonely at times because I have no one to turn to and my thoughts take over and I become my biggest enemy telling myself I'm not good enough

Thank you for listening! It's hard to find people in the world who actually listen nowadays or at least that's what I've seen in my case

Well if you ever need anything, I'm happy to be an ear and listen. I've learned to appreciate those who help others because this world can be cruel on us. 

Peaceful is the last way I would describe myself but yeah. I would love to help you in any way I could. I know I certainly need the help

Depression

 why are the people so mean ??

Friends

It's weird that I can show love to other people and Hate myself at the same time. I wanna love myself but I really can't and I'm trying.

i have my jee main paper on 29th. My family has so much expectations from me. I won't say I'm a 100% prepared but I'm still kind of prepared. Their confidence in me is giving me anxiety. I don't want to ruin my this attempt. I'm just so scared 

Exam

Hy peeps

3am Thoughts

It all started in 2019, I left my job as a chemical engineer and started a new journey towards learning data science. I joined an institute for training and it lasted for 8 months and from that point, I am jobless.  It's not like I did not work hard for it, I did all I could and I also made few mistakes out of good intentions for myself. 
After every job interview, they said that I cannot get this job because I am from a chemical background.
I have been failing for more than 2 years now and I feel like I should quit and try something else, I am thinking of doing Mtech in Chemical engineering. 
When I told my parents about this they think I am just being a loser and I am failing because I quit too soon, I don't think that trying for 2 years straight and then quitting is too soon. 
I am so depressed that I play PC games the whole day and I do not feel like going out and meeting my relatives and friends. 
I am not able to make eye contact with my parents, I am losing my respect in their eyes. 
I am 25 and I feel like everyone is going ahead of me and I am lacking behind. I feel like if I talked about this with my relatives and friends, instead of helping me they will judge me and spread a false rumour about me(I have few relatives who spread false rumours and they love to talk about other's failure all the time).
I really need someone to express this feeling all out. 


Failure

My family is driving me insane.

Mental Health

Anyone from Pune here 🤔🤔🧐

Love

Aksr  log puchte h kiya h  mohabat to  bina  chuye  vi  piyar krna  wo  h mohabat  juda  rehkr  vi saath  chlna  wo  h mohabat  har  roj  usiko  chuna  wo  h mohabat          lekin aaj ki  duniya  me  kon  krta h  aesa  piyar (:       kash  koi  aesa  mohabat  krta  pr  aajkal  to  sb fake  h .       

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts