I feel so alone , everything hurts kuch sahi nhi chalra yaar

Same bro same!!! Nothing, literally NOTHING IS GOING RIGHT! 😑

Keep yourself busy, watch movies hang out with frds,, it will not be the cure of ur problem but it will be temporarily affective

Lonely

Self obsession se Bahar kaise aaye?? 

3am Thoughts

Therapist ban jaana chahiye mujhe.

Crush ne bro bol diya bc...

Janti thi shuru se hi...
Tum mile ho to tumhe khona bhi padega,
Pyaar kiya h to rona bhi padega,
Pr phir bhi...
Phir bhii nhi rok paayi khud ko,
Nhi rok paayi khudko un aakhon m dhalte huye...teri aawaz m khote huye,
Aur na hi rok paayi tujhko mujhse door hote huye.
Rokna to boht chaha...
Pr kis kisko rokti...
Is dil ko jo ab uske liye dhadakne lga tha ya in aakhon ko jo ab sirf uski ek jhalak dekhne ko tarasne lgi thi,
Kis kisko rokti..
Un kaano ko jo sirf use sunna chahte the ya in lavo ko jo sirf usse hi guftagu krna chahte the...
Chlo maan liya..
Maan liya unko rok bhi leti...
To khudko kaise rokti...
Kaise rokti m khudko jb zindagi se jeet kr tum pr haar gyi thi khudko..
Aur har dafa haarne ke baad ab ye haar bhi pyaari lgne lgi thi❤
                                       
                    🍁ARU🍁

Do you guys ever feel, ki you are soo unique and better than others, ki shyd kabhi koi mile hi na? 
Like khud ka level itna high kr rkha hai ki feels like there are literally very few people who'll get you.. 

Love

Meri halat Love Triangle k uss Character ki tarah jo apne Lover k karib zarur hai, lekin firrr bhi bht durr hai. 
Sanam Re ki Urvashi Rautela, jaisi. 
Chahti toh hun ki, use meri yaad aaye, shyd Mujhse Juda hokr dukhi ho, meri kami mahsus ho. Lekin lgta hai, ye sb shyd woh sirf kisi ek k liye hi feel kr skta hai. Lgta h itne karib hai, lekin shyd woh mujhe ek dost ki tarah bhi nhi chahta (love) . Shyd sirf aur sirf ek dost hun, ek acchi dost. Dosti m toh pyaar ho skta hai, sirf wohi dikha do. 😔
Bura lgta h bht. Jab unhe kisiki Kami Mahsus ho lekin woh aap kabhi nhi ho. Kisise pyaar ho, lekin woh aap nhi ho. Kisiki wajah se dukhi ho, lekin woh aap nhi ho. 
Mujhe pata hai, ki mai itna kyu maang rhi. Lekin aadat tumhi ne khrb ki h na. Itna pyaar diya, ki shyd m yeh bhul gyi, ki mera number humesha Dusra hai😞 shyd khwaab bunne lgi ki shyd, pehli hi na shi, lekin usse kam bhi nhi hun. Shyd sochne lgi ki mujhse fard pdta hai. Lekin. Tum toh ek dum se chale gye. 
Bura lgta h bht zyada, jab yeh pata chlta ki tum usse relations sudharne ki itni koshish kr skte ho, but mere liye zara bhi extra efforts nhi de skte. 
Nhi manga kbhi kuch zyada, lekin acche dost toh rh skte the. 
Rh skte the. 

Musibat me pehne fir de use utaar
Helmet sa hogya logon ka kirdaar

Dreams

I haven't shared this with anyone but I got a dream which I remember vividly. 
The first one was a while ago.
Mummy aur mera bhai mujhe boht pareshan kar rahe the as usual jaise wo abhi kar rahe hain. Dono mujhe kabhi nahi samajhte hain. Ek team hoke agar mujhe thoda sa bhi gussa aata hai apne me aisi baatein karte hain jo mujhe zyada hurt karti hain. Mujhme anger issues hain, ik, par jab sab khatam hoke main rone lag jaati hu wo log aisi baaten karte hain ki ye to hai hi aisi pagal, humesha aise hi karti hai, mujhe to uski chinta hoti hai, kya karegi ye, nakhre hain bas iske. Wagerah wagerah. I can't stand them anymore. And this is the exact feeling jo mujhe sapne me dikhi, I was literally crying after getting up. Koi agar mentally weak feel kar raha hai, aur aapke jaise nahi sochta to kya aisa behaviour karna jisse wo aur toot jaaye, ye valid hai kya? Kab tak apne andar rakhu sab? Main pagal ho jaaungi aise. Ya to main sabse baat band kardu tabhi shayad main theek reh paaungi kyuki ye log including papa, ye log mujhe kabhi samajh nahi paayenge aur humesha negative hi bolenge mujhe. Weak pad jaati hu ye sochke ki ye hain to meri family aur intention aisi nahi hai par karte to wahi hain na wo log end me jisse meri haalat aur bigadte jaa rahi hai. Ek aur dream tha, jo 3 din pehle aaya tha. Main apne bachpan ke ghar me thi, bahar aangan me and what I see is mere papa mujhe kuchh to aakh me laga rahe hain with the intention of fighting and punishing. Mere mummy aur bhai bhi wahi hain. Main ro rahi hu par wo log fir bhi aise kar rahe hain. Side me meri ek friend aur uski family khadi hai, main ro rahi hu ki papa mummy wo log dekh rahe hain aise mat karo, main kaise mu dikhaungi unko, apan aur jhagda nahi karte par papa still wese kar rahe hain aur meri friend aur uski family has rahi hai mujhpe. Papa mere aakh me dale jaa rahe hain kuchh aur mummy kuchh bhi nahi kar rahi hai mujhe bachane ke liye helpless khadi hai, unko rok bhi nahi rahi hai. Itna bura aur bhayanak sapna tha ki mujhe sote sote rona aa gaya. I woke up in the middle of night crying like anything sat on the bed, cried for a long time. My father and mother who were asleep beside me didn't even care to see or maybe they were too asleep aur honestly, agar main unko jagati to wo log sach me mujhe aisehi bolte agle din ki main pagal hu ya fir papa to 100 percent ye baat kabhi jhagda jeetne me laate mujhe hurt karne ke liye. Isiliye maine kisi ko nahi bataya, koi samajh to pata nahi to kyu batana. 
Dono sapne the par feelings boht sach thi. Ye bata rahi hu taaki aap koi bhi ho atleast ek visualised tarike se samajh sako ki main kis mental state me hu abhi. Mujhe help chahiye professionally ya nahi ye main nahi jaanti. Bas sab hote huye bhi akele lagta hai aur dinbhar rona aata hai kyuki mujhe koi nahi samajhta aur mere saath koi nahi hai.
Also, tell me how to feel better about myself, I really really need it. Thankyou 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts