I feel quite insecure about my relationship with a married man who claims to love only me from all of his heart and soul. Even if he tries to make me feel comfortable, I still sometimes feel insecure. After all, he still lives with his wife, he is still married to her. I feel very helpless and don’t know what to do as I can never even think to leave him. He too asks me stay by his side always and that he would never leave me. I don’t understand how to overcome these feelings of insecurities.
HiAnon, Do you think these feelings of insecurity are there because somewhere you’re not sure whether he will continue to be with his wife or not? What is it that you want out of this relationship? And are you getting your end of the bargain? Maybe that’s what causing those insecurities coz you don’t really know if he means what he’s saying to you. I don’t think your insecurities are un-justified. If you’re content with the way things are, if you have both decided that this is how you want it to be, then there should be nothing to worry about. But if there is something more, that remains unsatisfied then you should ask, what is the reason behind that…
Hi!! I find your comment quite satisfying. I and he too is quite sure that we will settle down together in future. He will tell everyone about our relationship once I settle down with my professional life. And yes, I too want the same. Also, we both never lie each other, that faith for each other is there in our relationship. He says that he don’t have any emotional or any physical relationship with his wife at present and he will try to keep this up as much as possible. But u know, when he says I will try my best and could not make any commitments makes me more insecure. I m not insecure about the future but I know we cannot be together today even if we want to. So, the Time span he has a spend with her and his inability to make any commitments makes me afraid.
Hey, i’m glad it helped you. Is there a reason he is unwilling to commit to you fully right now? Maybe, that is what is bothering you… do make sure if you can trust him or not, no offence to you or anything but just out of concern, if he is in a relationship with you when he is already married to someone, do you think he might not do the same to you later? i don’t mean to put doubts in your mind, but just have a clear understanding of these things with each other, because this misunderstanding causes gaps in communicating and then mistrust and other issues
Yeah! I am very very sure of this, that he will not do the same with me. I also know that he don’t have any wrong intentions behind not making any commitments, but he do not clear why he cannot make commitments when he is saying that he is trying his best and its been much time he did not give me any chance to doubt on his intentions. And yeah his unwillingness to commit or not telling the valid reasons of his unwillingness to commit makes me a little upset and insecure.
Also, we had a small argument about this. He said that whenever we will meet in January, I will make all the commitments and promises that I could make and all the true reasons about why I was not willing to this. I will tell you everything, every plans that I had for future in my mind. And that relaxed me a lot. So, I am just waiting to that but at the same time I am afraid he may not say anything that I am not willing to hear or accept.
Hey., it’s me again, sorry for taking so much time to reply…I got busy with work. I don’t know what to tell you really after this, because he seems to be saying all the right things to keep you satisfied and yet there seems to be a disconnect in his thoughts and actions from what you are saying. My only concern is that I hope he is not manipulating you and just pacifying you with his words and being very smart about it. Just be cautious is my opinion. When we are in love, we stop viewing the other person with rationality and only look at them lovingly like they are without a flaw. I would really just urge you to think of yourself outside of the situation and imagine if you were your friend, who knew everything that was happening, what would you suggest to yourself for your own sake? be your own best friend here & be honest, that’s the only solution!
Thank you so much for say in this because this was what I was thinking and now I am sure that what I though to Do was correct. Thank you so much.
it’s my pleasure, hope all your concerns get resolved soon and that you feel contented and at peace. virtual hugs
hey i understand Don’t think ur helpless u sharing ur thoughts and feelings is a big step That great that u did not everyone can do that it also okay to feel insecure i feel too but i feel bad for both of you woman if u think about it he doesnt have any feeling for her he should let her go so she doesn’t get hurt . if he wants to be with u it nothing wrong with that im sure he loves you i hope you and him be great in the future i hope this help if not im sorry
It really helped. Thank you so much.
Hun, you shouldn’t be in a relationship if you feel insecure in it. I don’t ever recommend a relationship with a married man, and if you feel insecure in this relationship because of the fact that he is married, you should ask him to consider either leaving his wife or ending things with you. I know this sounds insensitive but you need to worry about yourself and find a way to resolve your insecurities.
:) sounds a little harsh but this was reality. Thank you so much for your your concern. I will surely think about my future too. Again, thank you so much.
Get out of that relationship…
I understand how you feel.Sis, do you trust him?he claims to love only you right?why did he get married to someone else?also how can you trust a man who cheats on his wife.I respect your feelings for him.Sis for your safety and happiness I suggest that you should ask him either to be with you or with his wife,because if this situation persists you might get hurt,so get it done soon.Hope it helps you
I was going through same kind of feelings, and i can understand its not easy to leave him but try to meet more people and start dating other people as well, if he lives with his wife then you have all rights to date other person, take a step may be you will find another guy who will love you without hiding you from world…all love and strength to you…keep smiling🥰🥰
Please don’t entertain married men! If he loves you and cares for you, he’d sort things out with his wife, get a divorce and find a way to be with you. This relationship is not only hurting you two, but also his wife and family, which is a little selfish if you ask me. How would you feel if you were in her shoes?
Ask him to make a decision in regards to his marriage, if he doesn’t love his wife, he should set her free. If he loves you, he should have a proper relationship with you, not an affair.
If he is ready to leave someone for you, he will always leave you for someone. Just know this. please
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i was in same situation but mine was weird because he dint understand the word no and kept coming back and seducing and used to take me out for drinks thats when i was blabbering something to him abt my ex and i was like its ok to have fling with married person as i dint wanted commitment but later when he was caught he put all blame on me saying i was trying to break his marriage and now everyone hates me thanks to such men they dont think once before ruining a girls life and now he is enjoying there with all the colleagues and i am sitting crying trying to explain myself to all that i had to leave the place for doing no crime.now what do u learn from this?
I have been there but with a married woman. I agree with ellarush13 you need to ask him where he think the relationship with you is going. You to ask him if he will leave his wife or let you go. If you don’t you will end up with alot of heart aches and regrets.