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Anonymous
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I feel quite insecure about my relationship with a married man who claims to love only me from all of his heart and soul. Even if he tries to make me feel comfortable, I still sometimes feel insecure. After all, he still lives with his wife, he is still married to her. I feel very helpless and don’t know what to do as I can never even think to leave him. He too asks me stay by his side always and that he would never leave me. I don’t understand how to overcome these feelings of insecurities.

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Anonymous

HiAnon, Do you think these feelings of insecurity are there because somewhere you’re not sure whether he will continue to be with his wife or not? What is it that you want out of this relationship? And are you getting your end of the bargain? Maybe that’s what causing those insecurities coz you don’t really know if he means what he’s saying to you. I don’t think your insecurities are un-justified. If you’re content with the way things are, if you have both decided that this is how you want it to be, then there should be nothing to worry about. But if there is something more, that remains unsatisfied then you should ask, what is the reason behind that…

Anonymous

Hi!! I find your comment quite satisfying. I and he too is quite sure that we will settle down together in future. He will tell everyone about our relationship once I settle down with my professional life. And yes, I too want the same. Also, we both never lie each other, that faith for each other is there in our relationship. He says that he don’t have any emotional or any physical relationship with his wife at present and he will try to keep this up as much as possible. But u know, when he says I will try my best and could not make any commitments makes me more insecure. I m not insecure about the future but I know we cannot be together today even if we want to. So, the Time span he has a spend with her and his inability to make any commitments makes me afraid.

Anonymous

Hey, i’m glad it helped you. Is there a reason he is unwilling to commit to you fully right now? Maybe, that is what is bothering you… do make sure if you can trust him or not, no offence to you or anything but just out of concern, if he is in a relationship with you when he is already married to someone, do you think he might not do the same to you later? i don’t mean to put doubts in your mind, but just have a clear understanding of these things with each other, because this misunderstanding causes gaps in communicating and then mistrust and other issues

Anonymous

Yeah! I am very very sure of this, that he will not do the same with me. I also know that he don’t have any wrong intentions behind not making any commitments, but he do not clear why he cannot make commitments when he is saying that he is trying his best and its been much time he did not give me any chance to doubt on his intentions. And yeah his unwillingness to commit or not telling the valid reasons of his unwillingness to commit makes me a little upset and insecure.

Anonymous

Also, we had a small argument about this. He said that whenever we will meet in January, I will make all the commitments and promises that I could make and all the true reasons about why I was not willing to this. I will tell you everything, every plans that I had for future in my mind. And that relaxed me a lot. So, I am just waiting to that but at the same time I am afraid he may not say anything that I am not willing to hear or accept.

Anonymous

Hey., it’s me again, sorry for taking so much time to reply…I got busy with work. I don’t know what to tell you really after this, because he seems to be saying all the right things to keep you satisfied and yet there seems to be a disconnect in his thoughts and actions from what you are saying. My only concern is that I hope he is not manipulating you and just pacifying you with his words and being very smart about it. Just be cautious is my opinion. When we are in love, we stop viewing the other person with rationality and only look at them lovingly like they are without a flaw. I would really just urge you to think of yourself outside of the situation and imagine if you were your friend, who knew everything that was happening, what would you suggest to yourself for your own sake? be your own best friend here & be honest, that’s the only solution!

Anonymous

Thank you so much for say in this because this was what I was thinking and now I am sure that what I though to Do was correct. Thank you so much.

Anonymous

it’s my pleasure, hope all your concerns get resolved soon and that you feel contented and at peace. virtual hugs

Anonymous

hey i understand Don’t think ur helpless u sharing ur thoughts and feelings is a big step That great that u did not everyone can do that it also okay to feel insecure i feel too but i feel bad for both of you woman if u think about it he doesnt have any feeling for her he should let her go so she doesn’t get hurt . if he wants to be with u it nothing wrong with that im sure he loves you i hope you and him be great in the future i hope this help if not im sorry

Anonymous

It really helped. Thank you so much.

ellarush13

Hun, you shouldn’t be in a relationship if you feel insecure in it. I don’t ever recommend a relationship with a married man, and if you feel insecure in this relationship because of the fact that he is married, you should ask him to consider either leaving his wife or ending things with you. I know this sounds insensitive but you need to worry about yourself and find a way to resolve your insecurities.

Anonymous

😃 sounds a little harsh but this was reality. Thank you so much for your your concern. I will surely think about my future too. Again, thank you so much.

j

Get out of that relationship…