I feel lonely, unloved. I feel like I would never find someone who loves me, and I’ve sort of stopped believed that there’s people out there who want anything besides sex. I haven’t been hugged in ages, no boy has made me feel safe or has been honest. Broken heart repeatedly. My head hurts, wish someone could just hug me and tell me it’s going to be okay. 

Sounds so clingy, hate to admit it but I am touch starved. Innocent touch. 

Thank you for saying this. Sending so much love to you. 

Love

So back 5 years ago,
My girlfriend cheated on me this is legit conversation she sent me.

Dude I love you but I love that guy too.
You are special but he completes me,
You have to understand me because if you can't who will.
Yes I'm spending time with him lately 
I love you so do I love him.

Hope you understand and if you can't its your fault.

I mean its 5 years it still goes in my mind wtf she meant to say? Like who does that!

Cheating

Been feeling kinda low for a few days..just been home all day doing nothing in particular. Feeling sad and depressed. Obviously because of how my relationship ended back in Dec 2021. And that's the problem. Its been almost 5 months since the BU and I still feel like shit. I just can't seem to get out of the cycle of sadness and wondering what he is up to?why did he leave me?is he ever coming back?(he left out home country to study) etc etc.. I was telling a friend of mine who knows him and she said " you can't seriously be still talking about him 5 months later.." it got me thinking that this is why people suffering from depression/anxiety hardly tell anyone what they going through.. I honestly feel like there's no one I canI talk to because they probably all will say the same thing. Makes me kind of embarrassed that till now I'm still sad amd depressed...🤷‍♀️😣😞. 

Turned off my read receipt of whatsapp so 
I can't have a pressure or a little bit uncomfortable situation due to which I have to message her everytime to up our conversation!! 
Damm Im talking to her since 2-3 months and she mostly gives reply after 1 day or sometimes 2-3 days !! 

Do you ever feel so drained about a situation that you don't know how you're supposed to act or what you are supposed to say to/about it anymore? Because that is where I am at with this dude. I am super close with his best friends, I met them through him. They all live together right now. His friends want me to hang out with them when I come home for spring break next week. Before this past week this dude (we will call him Sam), Sam kinda stopped talking to me because I went off on him after he told me he didn't want a relationship after sending me very mixed messages and stringing me along. He still hasn't responded to me going off on him but just keeps telling me he wants to figure out the right way to respond. All of a sudden Sam is snap chatting me again and just talking to me like normal, friendly. His friends tell me that Sam told them he wants to be friends with me and makes jokes with them about how I could probably "pull them" and how I'd probably make them want to date me because of how nice and pretty I am. The moral of the story Sam is acting like a jealous boyfriend even though he and I never had the boyfriend/girlfriend title. I don't hate him, I liked him a lot. He was the first guy that I've ever liked more than a friend. And he is confusing me and still sending me mixed messages. I am more than okay with being friends with him but I need boundaries and this said friendship that he wants needs to be established. But here I am waiting for him to grow a pair and respond to my last message about what happened. I am just so frustrated and don't know how I should be feeling or responding anymore. 

Life

Hi, I would like to talk about my childhood trauma.
I've been physically and emotionally abused by my parents my whole childhod. They use to hit me every time I did something wrong, from leaving a toy in the middle of the living room, to not having exellent grades. I never had an oppinion because that ment raising my voice and being disrespectful. I never stood up for myself or even explain myself because I was wrong and they always knew the reason to everything. They also use to tell me I was a failure, a peace of garbage and someone who will never achieve anything in my life. That made me go from a super carring and afectionate child to someone who never shows her real emotions. I tried commiting  suicide multiple times since I was desparate to escape from the violence and pain I was going through mentally and physically. I failed all my attempts and I continued living with them silenced. My dad left when they divorced and I had to deal with psycological war from both sides. I gained a lot of weight in my journey because it was the only way to cope with my demons. The psycological was hasn't stopped even today that I'm nearly 18. They don't even have the slightest idea of what I'm going through. Every day I fight my urge to speak, my urge to break into thousands of peaces and explode like a volcano. As the time passes by I realise the damage and the scars it leaves me. Every day I understand thta I'm never going to have a happy life because of my trauma. I try to speak and my mouth shuts and my eyes get filled with tears. I want to yell, I want to scream but nothing comes out except silence and pain. All I think abouts is dying. I die in my dreams, I die in my imagination daily. There is not a scenario in my head that doesn't end up with me dying. Death, death, death, DEATH! I feel numb and voiceless. So small in the world of injustice and abuse. Are they even sorry? I wonder. 

Emotional Abuse

No body love me no body even like me . No ma family,and their are no friends at all . I never get in relationship with boyfriend. I never had one . Ma life peace a shit . I hate my life i hate myself so much . Really i wanna die . 

3am Thoughts

I have been fat shamed my whole childhood for being a fat kid. Since the last two years i have reduced to some extent. But some phrases are still a trigger. A few days ago my partner asked me to reduce weight as they’d rather prefer someone fit. It just triggered the whole childhood thing. I feel good about myself. But I don’t know how to handle this situation right now. Should i end things with them because the last time this conversation happened i did tell them that they went a little too far. And their response was that it’s just about your health. If you’d stay fit it would be good for you and all that stuff. I don’t know what to say to them or how to say to them. It’s just I don’t wanna be with someone who won’t accept me for me. 

Body image

Been 5 months since we spoke but I remember every detail of us clearly, I hate my memories. I want to forget you ughhh. Why did you even enter my life if you wanted to leave..

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts