Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I feel lonely… I’m alone…everyday every night…I have friends…a significant number but still something’s empty inside me. I have friends I love so much…they love me…care about me but still whenever I talk about my depression, stress, anxiety to anybody I don’t feel understood…it feels like they are used to it…me crying about everything I feel wrong about my life…and I can understand them… it’s not easy to listening to people taking about their problems. Even in my home I feel very alone that I can’t talk to no one… because everyone says pull yourself together and do right things stop complaining… nobody understand that you might be in pain which just won’t go away…I feel like I’m hiding every second from everyone…my parents…that they don’t see the real me who is weak, miserable, scared of every little problem. Whenever I try to share something with my people …it feels light for some time but later makes me feel more alone…because for a minute I took the burden off but then that realisation that nobody understood how suffocating everything is becoming…and I feel like I can’t breathe…why I am so pathetic… depressed…it would be much easier if I didn’t overthink things.
And then there is pain…not just mine everyone’s…so much pain and I can’t stop noticing it… there’s one thing that you see people’s pain and help or pray or something else…and then there’s other thing that you see people…their pain do nothing just starts to feel it…which is probably stupid…I do that…I see any problem my parents facing…I blame myself for it and I can’t stop it…I feel responsible for everything…if I could just be normal…get a job and help them…if i could just do according to them…I have taken so much blame on myself… nobody’s know of it…only I know… it’s very heavy…my heart is very heavy all the time… I’m tired…I don’t like living with myself…so miserable !!