I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere? Like I have friends but I lose touch after a while. I don’t have any best friend or close friend. And I’m kinda jealous of people who have friendships that span years and can talk to friends about anything and everything and are v comfortable with them.
Even when I have friends I feel like they hate me or they’re judging me or I’m going to lose them. Or I just feel left out even in a group. 
It’s exhausting and saddening tbh cuz I always feel lonely. I wish I knew what to do about it sigh.

Sucks huh:/ the pain though lmao. I’ve learnt to be able to laugh through all of it but it still gets v overwhelming at times :/

see the hard truth in life is you have to be good in something or else they wont value you.....they might talk to you make you feel important but after while they lose interest until unless they see any substantial gain out of the relationship...so think on those lines

Friends

 I don't know what's going on. So I have a group of friends, and we have been friends since childhood other than them I don't have any friends, nowadays they're getting kinda disconnected from me, they don't invite me to hang out with them and I always feel so left out they always exclude me whenever they do anything and when I initiate any conversation with them, they don't even respond to me properly, and as far as I remember they started slowly disconnecting with me since the past 6 months, I tried to confront them but they made it clear that it's not me,they have no intentions of excluding me and everything and that cleared up, but now they're again slowly starting to exclude I feel so bad because I don't have any friends and just no one to talk to, I don't really know why they're doing this, because we've known each other for so long and suddenly this change just feels wrong, I feel like maybe I have outgrown them or something like that not really sure, it sucks tho frowning

I feel like I am not noticable enough in my friends group. Maybe I am not pretty enough or I am not open enough but it hurts when you are never an important part of the conversation.

3am Thoughts

I feel disposable to the people around me. I am unable to hang out with everyone all the time since I have more restrictions then them, but it looks like they have more fun when I am not around. I was dating someone in this group and in many instances I was referred to as the girlfriend instead of my name. I broke up with them recently even though I still like them but I was not happy because of the way people would treat me differently when we started dating. Now that I broke up with them I feel like they don’t like me anymore but are putting up with me. I feel like this is all in my head since I have jumped to many friends groups over the years because I would feel like these friends didn’t care about me like they did with the others. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know how to act like everything is fine and pretend I don’t feel like this but now that I’m barely talking to them I still feel like they don’t realize that I’m disappearing. 

friends, of course, the thing we all think we need to have, but in my opinion, we do not. friends are just something that are not real, no one will actually care about you, it has just always been a thing that people need attention from someone and then starts talking to someone and then they become friends, thinking that they can open up about every single thing and that people actually care, but they do not. no one does. Im not saying this in a sad way, but that is actually true, we are humans, and we will always care about us the most, we will lie to ourselves about being interested in someones live without actually caring, but they will only do it because they think that their friends actually care about them, and that is the friend circle. we are selfish creatures, we only want what is good for us selfs, and sometimes I think that making other people satisfied can make you happy, but you still do it because it makes you happy to, you would not do it if it did not make a good effect on you? right?

Sometimes everything looks like fake 

So in the past I used to be a toxic person and talk about my friends and get jealous of their accomplishments and items and stuff and I admit it was bad but I learned my mistake and fessed up. I felt like a terrible person for saying all that stuff about my best friends and when I told them they were glad that I told them but they dumped me anyway which I can understand. Only my best best friend stayed with me because she wanted me to become a better person and help me out with it which I am really grateful for. But it's kinda hard without them because I hate whenever I go onto social media like for example discord and tiktok and see all of them with matching bios and pfps and everything and it makes me so sad because I could have joined them but they hate me now I think. My best best friend stayed with me but we don't really talk much that much because she's talking to the other people in my friend group. If anyone is reading this does anyone know how I can become a better person and less toxic because I wanna get my friends back or make new friends and prove to them that I've changed but idek how :/

my so called friends are telling people that i have stds when i dont i dont know why they doing this to me i dont know wat to do.

Other

So basically we are a group of 4 friends… different ages but all under 25.. we all have had horrible experiences  with friends in past…the whole vibe and the people are all so good.. but idk sometimes i kinda feel left out… now just realized theres one more person feeling the same in the group… it felt bad… long story short , i felt like having friends again was a mistake because i can’t handle more dramas and loneliness with the friend circle … Someone give me some advice or reassurance..thats all i want at this point.. kinda done having friends 

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