I feel like I can’t carry out my ambitious dreams without Adderall. I took this drug for the past 16 years and have had continuous success in the startup world.
I’ve taken a two month break from this drug because I know it can’t be good for me long term. But now, I only have “normal” ambitions and drive. The big plans I’ve been working on for the past two years feel insurmountable without Adderall.
I feel like I can’t do it without a freaking drug.
Maybe you can reframe this as a big new challenge, a bit ‘stepping up’ to an even bigger and better challenge, except that this time it isn’t about ‘success regardless of the effects on me’, it’s about ‘success that includes protecting my body\mind’. Maybe that’ll mean it takes you longer to achieve those big plans, or those big plans may have to be ‘shrunk’ just a little, but I don’t see how they would be entirely insurmountable. Maybe now that you don’t have the benefit of the effects of Adderall you’ll need to control your time more efficiently, or cut back in other areas of life. Ultimately if you think the drug is or will do you harm, then you CAN adjust your lifestyle. Is what you’ve been achieving truly ‘success’ anyway if it requires being on medication to attain it? Are you really ‘competing’ fairly if that’s what it takes? Maybe treating this as a challenge and eventually overcoming it will lead to much wider, better success in general… like you could end up writing a book on how you did eventually adjust and change your lifestyle to achieving things without the assistance of drugs, and this could help others.
Good luck.
