I feel like I am always sad, nothing makes me happy. Even if I am happy for a while but I immediately realise that it’s not happiness for me. I am just so confused, what I actually want out of life. 

I have been trying for that for a long time now, but doesn’t really help always! 

You'll just forget about these things after a while 
Just make sure to breathe .  And let life do its wonders 


I want to run away

Depression

I desire the things which will destroy me in the end

3am Thoughts

you never stopped whereas you ran,walked,fell,crawl. :) just be fuckin proud of yourself pal

Friends

its been a while since i wrote anything in here....
its been a year since "kind of depression episode"
its not like... I'm not depressed anymore... i just don't know what I'm feeling right now
Is that a bad thing? honestly idk, at least I'm not sad 
I realised that my episode kind of stopped when i started go to school back.. ig school is not all that bad cuz at least i have something to focus and be stressed on that be sad all day or thinking bout ending my life, which i wont cuz i realise i will miss a lot of things, and i don't want that...
i actually need someone to talk to... like someone my age, my gender, n maybe i can stop existing and start living


Life

I feel like I'm drowning, nothing feels right, I feel unlucky, I'm stressed, lonely and totally messed up.

Insecurity

Backspaced all the long vent... I don't feel like even venting here now, this place also feels alone now which was the only go to place for me . _ .
 F**kkkkk I feel so alone. I want either to take my life god( if there is any) or just make me disappear from this world plzz. Maybe the creature did a mistake by making me a human. I am a f**king adultttttt god I don't want this life 

Mental Health

I want my back then version😔😔, she was more good than this useless adult person I am. I don't think there is any big looser than me. I see people are working hard, atleast trying for whatever there struggles are.. which makes me more depress than I am because Idk what happened to me I am not true to even myself, I know I am undeserving person of anything good as I am not even trying, idk know what to do , even if I think what should I do I am not able to focus and give up. Still doing nothing. 
I was not at all like this, lol I even used to feel pity for such people like why they are so depress and negative, should feel positive, everything is good. And the tables turned, I am living in my shell now, away from everyone. Coz people use to see me as a deserving person, the one who will do something good in her life, will definitely achieve something big etc. 
Now here I can't stand for my own, I don't like this person. I don't meet anyone, avoiding talking to people even this was the best time I missed my college years, it's completed, I left with nothing😞. Time is gone. Damn, yes. TIME IS GONE😶 and what I got is I know now THE WORLD IS BAD. 

It gets better. Stick through it. It only gets better. 
Whether a relationship or you in your own mind, it always gets better. Sometimes it has to get bad first before it gets good. Remember that. Love you all ❤

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