Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I feel like crying rn and I am so frustrated at myself rn bec i just realised that all these people I’ve been w in my last few years of college( in my final year now) were all critical, negative, manipulative , toxic and hurtful. And being around people like that has effected me a lot. I have a v low self esteem and Confidence bec these people especially a girl, she constantly criticised and said bad things intentionally abt my work, my passion, she always had to debate w me. And then I try to prove her aghhh i hate it. I have been self loathing so much recently. I am so scared. Like fr. Of all these people. Even when I have cut them all now, maintaining a distance. I still am afraid now of meeting the wrong people like this again in the future and letting it affect me so much to the point I lose some part of myself. I feel so frustrated and helpless rn, literally want to go back home to mumma or smth.